Creative Living With Sheryl Borden #6705

27 minutes

>> "CREATIVE LIVING," UTILIZING TODAY'S TECHNOLOGY WITH THE BEST OF THE PAST TO BRING YOU INNOVATIVE IDEAS AND UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION FOR CREATIVE LIFESTYLES IN TODAY'S ACTIVE WORLD WITH YOUR HOST--SHERYL BORDEN. >> THANKS FOR JOINING ME TODAY FOR "CREATIVE LIVING." WE'RE GOING TO LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY AND THEN WE'LL DEMONSTRATE PREPARING SHRIMP. ONE OF MY NEXT GUESTS IS SUE HANSEN, AND SHE'S A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER FROM MONTROSE, COLORADO. SUE WILL TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION, WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR CHILDREN OR A GOOD FRIEND. SHE EMPHASIZES GREAT LISTENING SKILLS AND A DESIRE TO CHANGE BEHAVIORS. HER BUSINESS IS SUE HANSEN SPEAKS. WE'LL BEGIN THE SHOW TODAY WITH JOHN VOLLERTSEN, OR MORE COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS CHEF JOHNNY VEE, AND HE'S A COOKBOOK AUTHOR AND A CHEF. JOHN WILL DEMONSTRATE HOW TO COOK WITH INEXPENSIVE AND VERSATILE SHRIMP. HE STRESSES THAT SHRIMP ARE LOW FAT BUT BIG ON FLAVOR AND THAT THEY'RE A VERSATILE INGREDIENT THAT ADAPTS THEMSELVES EASILY TO MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CUISINE. AND TO ILLUSTRATE THIS POINT, HE'LL PREPARE 3 GREAT RECIPES THAT SHOWCASE HOW EASY SHRIMP IS TO INCORPORATE INTO A FAMILY MEAL. HIS COMPANY IS LAS COSAS COOKING SCHOOL IN SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO. JOHN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH US. I NOTICED IN YOUR BOOK THERE'S A WHOLE SECTION ON COOKING SHRIMP. >> I CALL THAT CHAPTER "SHRIMPLY DELICIOUS." >> AND IT IS. [LAUGHS] >> AND, YOU KNOW, THE GREAT THING ABOUT SHRIMP--AFFORDABLE, STAY IN THE FREEZER. YOU CAN PULL A FEW OUT AT A TIME. YOU DON'T HAVE TO THAW THE WHOLE BAG. AND THEY'RE VERY VERSATILE. SO, TODAY-- >> AND THEY COOK FAST. >> THEY COOK REALLY QUICKLY. I'M SINGLE. I GET HOME FROM WORK. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE-- SPEND 2 HOURS COOKING A ROAST OR A CHICKEN. SHRIMP TAKE MINUTES, AND THE KEY IS ALSO TO UNDERCOOK THEM SO THAT THEY DON'T GET RUBBERY. >> RUBBERY, UH-HUH. >> THEY COOK ALMOST IN A MINUTE. SO, TODAY WE'RE GONNA DO 2 THINGS. WE'RE GONNA MAKE A VERY POPULAR SPANISH TAPA, WHICH IS SIMPLY SHRIMP SAUTEED IN A LOT OF GARLIC, OLIVE OIL AND RED PEPPER FLAKES TO GIVE IT A KICK. JUST SERVE WITH A LITTLE CROSTINI. >> WHAT DOES "TAPA" MEAN? I'VE SEEN THAT IN RECIPES. >> AND THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. "TAPA" IS ACTUALLY A SPANISH WORD FOR "LID." >> LID. >> AND IN THE EARLY 1900s, WHEN BARS STARTED SERVING MAYBE A LITTLE NOSH IN BARS AS SORT OF A BAR SNACK, BARTENDERS--IF YOU THINK ABOUT SPAIN IS VERY DUSTY. WHEN YOU WERE DRINKING YOUR SHERRY, THE BARTENDER MIGHT TAKE A SLICE OF BREAD AND SET IT OVER YOUR GLASS, MEANING LID, "TAPA." >> TO KEEP DUST FROM GETTING IN. >> TO KEEP DUST OUT. AND SO THEN LITTLE BY LITTLE, YOU COULD EAT THAT PIECE OF BREAD. THEN IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE PIECE OF CHORIZO OR HAM, AND THEN IT JUST BECAME SORT OF A SNACK FOOD. >> I SEE... >> SO, VERY VERSATILE. SO, WHAT I HAVE HERE IS SOME GOOD EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL, AND I'M JUST GONNA HEAT THIS UP, AND I CAN--WHOO, I CAN HEAR IT BUBBLING ALREADY. I'M GONNA ADD SOME SLICED GARLIC, AND THAT'S ABOUT 8 GARLIC CLOVES. >> MM-HMM. >> I REALLY WANT TO GET THAT-- GET THAT BUBBLING, AND THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN QUICK, AND AS SOON--BOY, AS SOON AS THAT GARLIC IS BROWN, WE'RE GONNA ADD OUR SHRIMP, AND WE DO WANT TO BE CAREFUL, 'CAUSE I THINK WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A SPLASHING GOING ON, OKAY? NOW, I DON'T WANT TO ADD THE SHRIMP TOO QUICK, BECAUSE THAT WILL STOP THE, UH, STOP THE SHRIMP FROM BROWNING, OKAY? NOW, THESE ARE PEELED SHRIMP. THESE ARE MEDIUM SHRIMP. I THAW THEM IN A LITTLE BIT OF WATER WITH SOME SALT IN IT, AND THAT SORT OF ACTS LIKE A LITTLE--A LITTLE BIT OF A MARINADE FOR THE SHRIMP SO THAT THEY KIND OF GET PLUMP AGAIN. >> THE SALT... >> THE SALT DOES. YEAH, IT'S LIKE A LITTLE BRINE. >> UH-HUH. >> AND NOW I'VE GOT MY SHRIMP-- YOU CAN--OR MY LITTLE--MY LITTLE GARLIC IS NICE AND GOLDEN. >> UH-HUH. >> AND THEN I'M GONNA CAREFULLY... >> STAND BACK. >> STAND BACK AND ADD MY SHRIMP. NOW, SHERYL, THIS IS GONNA TAKE VIRTUALLY ONE MINUTE. REALIZE AS SOON AS SHRIMP ARE PINK, THEY'RE DONE, OKAY? >> AND YOU DON'T WANT TO TURN YOUR BACK AND GO DO SOMETHING ELSE, BECAUSE THAT REALLY CAN-- IF THEY'RE OVERCOOKED, THEY'RE JUST NOT GOOD. >> YEAH, THEY'RE NOT GOOD, AND THEN THEY GET HARD AND THEY SORT OF LOSE THEIR--AND THEN THIS IS JUST A BAGUETTE THAT I SLICED AND TOASTED WITH A LITTLE BIT OF OLIVE OIL ON THERE. >> MM-HMM. >> WE'LL USE THAT AS A LITTLE VEHICLE TO EAT OUR SHRIMP WITH. SOME RED PEPPER FLAKES, 'CAUSE YOU WANT THIS TO HAVE A NICE LITTLE KICK. ANOTHER THING YOU CAN DO WITH THIS, SHERYL, IS ACTUALLY PUT THIS OVER LINGUINI AND HAVE LINGUINI WITH SHRIMP AND HAVE A DELICIOUS PASTA DISH. >> WELL, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. >> SO, WHILE THIS IS GOING-- I'M JUST GONNA LET THAT COOK FOR ONE MORE MINUTE--OUR SAUCE FOR OUR WAFFLES IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A SMOKED SHRIMP SAUCE, WHICH IS GOING TO BE SORT OF A NICE BRUNCH DISH. SO, WHAT I HAVE DONE IS I'VE SMOKED SOME SHRIMP. THIS IS CALLED A CAMERON STOVETOP SMOKER. I USE THESE ALL THE TIME. MEANT FOR COOKING INDOORS, SMOKING ON GAS, ELECTRIC, OR GLASS-TOP STOVES. >> UH-HUH. >> AND IT COMES WITH WOOD CHIPS, WHICH ARE THERE, AND IT'S ALMOST LIKE SAWDUST. IT DOESN'T REALLY LOOK LIKE CHIPS. IT'S REALLY SAWDUST, AND VERY SIMPLY, THE DIRECTIONS TELL YOU TO ADD 2 TABLESPOONS OF THE WOOD CHIPS UNDER YOUR PAN IN HERE, AND THEN LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE BABIES. >> OH, GOSH, THOSE LOOK GREAT. >> SO, THAT TOOK ABOUT 6 MINUTES TO SMOKE, SO THAT IS ACTUALLY GONNA GO IN OUR SAUCE. >> MM-HMM. >> UH, YOU CAN SMOKE A SIDE OF SALMON IN ABOUT 11 MINUTES. SO VERSATILE. I HAVE A BUNCH OF RECIPES FOR THE SMOKER IN MY COOKBOOK. WHOOPS. >> AND DON'T THEY SAY ALMOST ALL FISH YOU CAN FIGURE, UH, WHAT IS IT? AN INCH--IT'S ABOUT 10 MINUTES PER INCH OR SOMETHING? >> YEAH, YEAH, AND YOU CAN-- DEPENDING ON HOW THICK-- THE SHRIMP TOOK NOT LONG, BECAUSE THEY'RE SMALL. >> YEAH, THEY'RE SO SMALL. >> OKAY, LOOK AT THIS. SO, THIS IS OUR BUBBLING SHRIMP. >> MMM. >> AND WE'LL HAVE THOSE IN A MINUTE. I'M JUST GONNA PUT A LITTLE FRESH CILANTRO ON TOP THERE, AND THEN WE'LL HAVE THOSE WITH OUR CROUTONS IN A MINUTE. >> GOOD... >> OKAY, SO, FOR THE SHRIMP SAUCE, I'VE GOT SOME BUTTER. I'M GONNA SAUTE SOME SHALLOTS AND SOME GREEN SCALLIONS OR GREEN ONIONS, OKAY? GET THOSE A LITTLE BIT BROWN. >> SCALLIONS AND ONIONS CAN BE USED INTERCHANGEABLY? >> YEAH, IF YOU'D LIKE THEM TO BE A LITTLE BIT MILDER, THEY'RE ACTUALLY A NICE-- A MILDER ONION. >> OH. >> OKAY. SO, I'M GONNA LET THOSE SOFTEN A LITTLE BIT. NOW, FOR OUR WAFFLES. THESE ARE CALLED OVERNIGHT WAFFLES, SO, IN MY BOOK, WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO--AND I DID THIS LAST NIGHT--SO CUTE. IN MY HOTEL ROOM, I WAS MIXING MY LITTLE WAFFLE MIX ON THE TELEVISION. SO, THIS IS FLOUR, BUTTERMILK, LITTLE BIT OF SUGAR, SALT, AND A LITTLE BIT OF YEAST. AND IF YOU HAVE A WHIFF OF THIS... >> I CAN SMELL IT. >> IT'S LIKE--THEY'RE GONNA THINK WE WERE MAKING BEER IN MY ROOM. >> [LAUGHS] YEAH. >> SO, WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT IS GOT THIS STARTED. LET THIS FOAM OVERNIGHT. NOW, THESE ARE 2 EGG YOLKS THAT TODAY, WHEN YOU GET READY TO START MAKING YOUR WAFFLES, WE'RE GOING TO FOLD THAT IN, AND THIS IS REAL-- LOOK AT THIS. OH, WOW. >> IT JUST MAKES IT FLUFFIER BY MAKING IT AND LETTING IT SET OVERNIGHT. >> MAKING IT SET OVERNIGHT, YOU DEVELOP YOUR YEAST, AND THEN BY FOLDING IN YOUR EGGS THE NEXT DAY, YOU'RE REALLY GONNA HAVE LIGHT WAFFLES. AND NOW THESE ARE MY 2 EGG WHITES THAT I'VE WHIPPED UNTIL STIFF, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA FOLD THESE IN. SO, THIS IS MY FAVORITE WAFFLE IRON. THIS IS A WARING WAFFLE IRON, AND THEY MAKE REALLY BIG SORT OF, OH, STATE-FAIR-SIZE WAFFLES. SO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE REAL GENTLE WITH YOUR WHITES. THIS CAN GO IN PRETTY QUICKLY. >> UH-HUH. >> NOTICE I'M GOING AROUND AND COMING IN THE MIDDLE, AROUND AND IN THE MIDDLE. DO YOU WANT TO FINISH THAT FOR ME, SHERYL, FOLDING? AND THEN I'VE GOT MY ONIONS ARE SOFTENED HERE. I'M GONNA ADD SOME NICE CHOPPED ROMA TOMATOES AND OF COURSE SOME NICE CRISPY BACON. >> YES. >> BECAUSE THIS WILL MAKE A NICE BRUNCH DISH. >> WELL, I, YOU KNOW, I MAKE WAFFLES A LOT, AND I USUALLY HAVE BACON... >> YEAH, SO THIS KIND OF-- >> BUT I HAD NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT USING SHRIMP. THAT JUST SOUNDS KIND OF ODD. >> THE SMOKED SHRIMP ALMOST HAVE A BACON-Y SORT OF FLAVOR. >> 'CAUSE THEY'RE A LITTLE CRISPER. >> SO I'M GONNA THROW THESE IN. AND THEN THE LIGHT--THE LOW-FAT PART OF THIS IS A CUP AND A HALF OF HEAVY CREAM. >> HMM. >> BUT IT IS--YOU KNOW, BRUNCH FOOD IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED. WHOOPS. I'M HAVING TROUBLE CATCHING MY--AND THEN WE'RE GONNA ADD A LITTLE BIT OF FISH STOCK, WHICH I MAKE, BUT YOU CAN ALSO USE CLAM JUICE. JUST BOTTLED CLAM JUICE IS FINE. >> RIGHT. YOU CAN BUY THAT. >> SO I'M GONNA ADD A LITTLE BIT OF THAT. OKAY, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA ADD OUR CREAM, LET THIS SIMMER DOWN, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA LADLE THIS OVER OUR FINISHED WAFFLES. >> OH, MY GOSH. THIS HAS TO BE GOOD. >> THIS'LL BE YUMMY. NOW, THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE, OF COURSE, IS SOMETHING CALLED SMOKED SPANISH PAPRIKA. THIS COMES FROM SPAIN. IT IS PAPRIKA THAT'S BEEN SMOKED AND IT'S A WONDERFUL ADDITION. I USE THIS IN A LOT OF-- >> DO YOU BUY THAT IN A... >> YES, MORE IN A SPECIALTY STORE. >> OKAY. >> IT MAY NOT BE IN YOUR LOCAL GROCERY STORE, BUT, UM-- >> BUT IT'S WORTH BUYING, AND I GUESS IT WOULD LAST QUITE A WHILE. >> YEAH. AND I USE IT IN POTATO SALAD AND--OKAY. SO, I'VE GOT MY WAFFLE IRON HEATED UP. NOW, THE COOL THING ABOUT THIS WAFFLE IRON IS AFTER I FILL IT, YOU FLIP IT, AND THAT HELPS THAT WAFFLE DROP DOWN SO THAT IT DOESN'T STICK. I'M GONNA GIVE IT A VERY LIGHT SPRAY WITH VEGETABLE SPRAY... >> MM-HMM. >> AND THEN WE'RE GONNA TAKE A NICE LADLE OF OUR BATTER, AND IT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF PRACTICE TO SEE HOW MUCH OF THIS YOU NEED. YOU DON'T WANT IT TO BE OOZING OUT THE SIDES, BUT-- >> IT DEPENDS ON YOUR OWN WAFFLE IRON, TOO... >> YEAH. WHATEVER YOUR-- SO, I'M GONNA DROP THIS AND THEN FLIP IT AROUND, AND THE COOL THING IS A LIGHT COMES ON AND TELLS ME WHEN IT'S READY, WHICH IS GREAT. SO, LET'S MOVE THAT. THAT'S ONLY GONNA TAKE A MINUTE. NOW, THIS SAUCE WILL JUST THICKEN ENOUGH THAT WE CAN, UM, SERVE IT OVER-- >> SO, WE'RE GOING TO PUT THE SMOKED SHRIMP ON TOP OF THE WAFFLE... >> ON TOP OF THE WAFFLE... >> AND THEN POUR THE SAUCE ON IT. I SEE. >> AS OUR SAUCE. SO, THIS'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE. YOU KNOW, CERTAINLY, THESE WAFFLES YOU COULD SERVE AS REGULAR WAFFLES, AS YOUR BREAKFAST WAFFLES AND STUFF, BUT THEY'RE REALLY DELICIOUS WAFFLES. I'M MORE OF CRISPY WAFFLE GUY. I'M NOT A-- NOT A SOFT-- MY 95-YEAR-OLD FATHER HAS FROZEN WAFFLES IN THE FREEZER THAT HE PUTS IN THE TOASTER. I'M LIKE, "DAD, THOSE ARE NOT--" >> THAT'S NOT REALLY WAFFLES. >> YEAH, THAT'S NOT-- >> BUT THEY'RE NICE IN A HURRY. >> YEAH, THEY'RE GOOD FOR A HURRY, BUT--SO, THIS IS GONNA THICKEN VERY QUICKLY, AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE GARNISH OF CILANTRO. AND THEN WE'LL--NOW, WHAT I DO OCCASIONALLY IS, SO YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAFFLE TOO DARK, MOST WAFFLE IRONS DO HAVE AN ADJUSTMENT FOR HOW LONG THEY LAST, BUT WE CAN KIND OF TURN--LET'S DO THAT FOR ONE MORE MINUTE. >> OH. UH-HUH. >> UNTIL THEY'RE NICE AND GOLDEN BROWN. >> THIS IS MORE LIKE WHAT THEY CALL THOSE BELGIAN WAFFLES. >> BELGIAN WAFFLES. >> THEY'RE THICK. >> YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING OF. YOU KNOW, I LOVE HOW ALL THE STATE FAIRS THIS SUMMER ALWAYS ANNOUNCE THE NEWEST FAST FOOD, AND DID YOU HEAR LAST YEAR, I THINK IT WAS IN TEXAS, THEY HAD FRIED BUTTER WAS ONE-ONE OF THE-- >> FRIED BUTTER? >> FRIED BUTTER. THEY TOOK-- MADE A LITTLE DUMPLING OUT OF BUTTER, FRIED IT, AND WHEN YOU BIT INTO IT, THERE WAS MELTING BUTTER IN THERE, SO-- >> OH. WELL, I WONDER HOW THAT WENT OVER. >> YEAH, YEAH. DON'T KNOW IF THAT WOULD GO OVER. WE'D HAVE TO HAVE GREEN CHILI MELTED BUTTER HERE. ALL RIGHT, SO, THAT'S THICKENING UP NICELY. AND I'M JUST GONNA CHECK THIS AGAIN. I THINK THAT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD. LET'S LEAVE IT FOR ONE MORE MINUTE. THE OLD--THE OLD TELEVISION THING WHERE YOU'RE WATCHING THE WAFFLE COOK, YOU KNOW. >> A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS. >> REALLY. SO, IF YOU'D LIKE...

[WAFFLE IRON BEEPING] THERE WE GO. IF YOU'D LIKE

TO DO THIS WITHOUT THE BACON, CERTAINLY YOU CAN DO THAT, JUST TO MAKE IT, YOU KNOW, NOT QUITE AS--OKAY, SO I FLIP THAT OVER. LOOK AT THAT BABY. >> OOH, THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL ONE. >> SO, I'M GONNA CAREFULLY-- THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE TO BEING-- TO BEING A FULL... >> UH-HUH. >> AND THEN LOOK AT THAT. >> OOH, IT IS FLUFFY. HA HA. >> AND NOW--YEAH. NOW I'M GONNA TAKE SOME OF MY SAUCE, AND WE'LL JUST TOP OUR LITTLE WAFFLE, AND THEN WE CAN HAVE SOME OF OUR TAPAS HERE. TAKE THAT. I WANT TO MAKE SURE WE GET ALL THE SHRIMP IN THERE. >> UH-HUH. THAT'S THE BEST PART. >> YEAH, REALLY. >> SO, THIS WOULD BE ONE SERVING. >> YEAH, I THINK THIS-- YOU MIGHT EVEN--DEPENDING ON HOW BIG YOUR-YOUR BRUNCH FESTS ARE, YOU COULD EVEN CUT THOSE INTO QUARTERS. SOMETIMES WHEN I'M DOING A BRUNCH, THIS IS ONE OF THE DISHES I DO, AND THEN WE GIVE EVERYBODY SORT OF A QUARTER OF A WAFFLE. >> RIGHT. >> AND THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE AN EGG DISH AS WELL. >> AND MAYBE IF YOU HAVE FRESH FRUIT, THAT WOULD NOT TAKE UP SO MUCH ROOM ON THE-- ON THE SAME PLATE. >> ABSOLUTELY. A LITTLE FRESH CILANTRO. LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT IS. >> MMM. >> SO, THAT'S OUR BELGIAN WAFFLE WITH A CREAMY SHRIMP SAUCE. >> MM-HMM. >> AND WHY DON'T WE TRY OUR LITTLE TAPAS HERE? YOU DO WANT TO BE CAREFUL WHEN THAT SHRIMP IS HOT, 'CAUSE THAT CAN--AND WHAT I DO IS JUST PUT A CROSTINI DOWN, GRAB A LITTLE SHRIMP, PUT IT ON TOP THERE. WE'LL TRY TO BALANCE THIS. OOP. AND THEN WE HAVE SORT OF AROUND THE WORLD WITH SHRIMP. >> HMM. >> I'LL LET YOU GRAB ONE, SHERYL, AND WE CAN SEE IF THAT CAN GET INTO OUR... >> [CRUNCHING] >> MMM. >> MMM. >> YUMMY. GOOD, GOOD. AND NEXT WE'LL HAVE OUR WAFFLES. >> OKAY. WELL, JOHN, THANK YOU SO MUCH. EXCUSE ME FOR TALKING WHILE I'M EATING. YOU ALWAYS BRING THINGS THAT ARE UNUSUAL BUT YET THINGS THAT WOULD BE EASY ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE TO PREPARE. >> AND I THINK COOKING SHOULD BE QUICK AND NOT--I MEAN, THESE ARE FAIRLY INTERESTING AND EXOTIC DISHES, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND ALL DAY IN THE KITCHEN. >> MM-HMM. BUT YOUR GUESTS WILL THINK YOU DID, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. >> THAT'S THE BEST PART. >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING HERE TODAY. >> THANK YOU. >> SUE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH US TODAY. AND WE'RE GOING TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT COMMUNICATION BUT ABOUT A SPECIAL TYPE OF COMMUNICATION. TELL US ABOUT THIS. >> ARE YOU MARRIED? >> YES. >> SO, WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT SPOUSE TALK. YOU KNOW, WHAT'S INTERESTING TO ME ABOUT COMMUNICATION WITH SPOUSES IS, I MEAN, THIS IS THE PERSON THAT YOU KNOW THE BEST IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. I MEAN, YOU LIVE WITH THIS PERSON, YOU'RE INTIMATE WITH THIS PERSON, YOU COMMUN-- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE COMMUNICATING. YOU DO EVERYTHING WITH THIS PERSON, AND YET THE COMMUNICATION SEEMS TO BE DIFFICULT. DON'T YOU FIND THAT? >> WELL, AND DON'T THEY SAY THAT BESIDES MONEY, SOMETIMES IN-LAWS, THE LACK OR-- OF COMMUNICATION IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS FOR DIVORCE? >> IT IS, AND, YOU KNOW, EVEN IF YOU TAKE IT TO THE CORPORATE LEVEL, EVERY TIME I GET CALLED IN TO TALK TO A COMPANY, THE PROBLEMS USUALLY STEM FROM COMMUNICATION, LACK OF COMMUNICATION. >> YEAH. >> IT'S JUST HARD TO REALLY CONNECT, AND THEN WHEN WE HAVE THE LAYERED TECHNOLOGY, IT REALLY EVEN MAKES IT THAT MUCH MORE DIFFICULT, BUT IT'S DIFFICULT TO TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE, IT'S DIFFICULT TO HAVE THOSE CONVERSATIONS. SO I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE USEFUL TO TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT BETWEEN MALES AND FEMALES? AND IT TURNS OUT, YOU KNOW, WE TALK--WE SPEAK DIFFERENTLY. WE HEAR DIFFERENTLY. >> LIKE THE VENUS AND MARS TYPE OF INFORMATION? >> KIND OF, YEAH. I THINK-- >> WE'RE DIFFERENT. >> YEAH, WE'RE DIFFERENT, AND YOU REALLY HAVE TO HAVE SOME SPECIFIC INTENTION IN ORDER TO MAKE IT BETTER IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD, SO, YOU KNOW, IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW, WE COMMUNICATE BY DASHING FROM ONE ROOM TO THE OTHER. AS MY HUSBAND GETS OLDER, HE CAN'T HEAR ME FROM THIS ROOM TO THAT ROOM, SO NOW WE HAVE A RULE WE HAVE TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WHEN WE TALK SO HE-- I GUESS HE CAN LIP-READ. I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT HE'S DOING, BUT STILL-- >> AND THERE'S STILL THE TV IN THE BACKGROUND, BLARING IN OUR CASE. >> THAT'S RIGHT, SO IT REALLY IS--BECAUSE IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT THING, AND, YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK AT DIVORCE IS-- 53% OF THE MARRIAGES END UP IN DIVORCE. I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK MANY OF THEM ARE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT COMMUNICATING, BECAUSE IT TAKES, AGAIN, ENERGY TO COMMUNICATE WELL. SO, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SPOUSES IS REALLY ESSENTIAL. SO, I THINK PUTTING SOME THOUGHT INTO HOW MEN COMMUNICATE AND HOW WOMEN COMMUNICATE IS REALLY USEFUL. SO, I HAVE A COUPLE OF TIPS. NOW, YOU MAY WANNA TRY THIS ON YOUR HUSBAND. I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHY WE CAN'T COMMUNICATE. I'M NOT REALLY SURE--IT SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD BE SO SIMPLE, BUT IT REALLY IS VERY DIFFICULT. >> WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS YOU MENTIONED THAT I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEING A TYPE OF COMMUNICATION WAS THAT BESIDES TALKING ALL THE TIME, WE DON'T LISTEN ENOUGH OR LISTEN WELL. >> THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. WELL, AND I THINK IN OUR-- IF YOU THINK ABOUT 2 PEOPLE TALKING, THE PERSON TALKING IS SPENDING THE NEXT TIME, NEXT MINUTE LISTENING-- NOT LISTENING TO THE PERSON, BUT THINKING ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE GONNA SAY, SO--AND WE'VE BECOME THAT KIND OF A SOCIETY, IT SEEMS TO ME. SO, LISTENING IS A LOST ART, AND IT TAKES ENERGY TO LISTEN AS WELL, SO, FROM A COMMUNICATIONS STANDPOINT, THERE'S A COUPLE THINGS THAT WOMEN LIKE BETTER. WOMEN LIKE MEN TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR EYES. THEY LIKE TO HAVE EYE CONTACT. AND DO YOU THINK MEN USE EYE CONTACT VERY MUCH? >> WELL, NO, BECAUSE THEY'RE USUALLY WATCHING THE TELEVISION AND LISTENING TO YOU WITH ONE EAR. >> YEAH. ACTUALLY, THEY DO NOT. THEY'RE NOT--WOMEN TEND TO USE EYE CONTACT MORE AND WE ACTUALLY GAZE WITH EYE CONTACT LONGER THAN MEN DO ON AVERAGE, SO MORE SECONDS SPENT IN REALLY LISTENING TO, AND WHEN WE USE EYE CONTACT IN OUR CULTURE, IT MEANS THAT I'M LISTENING TO YOU, I'M CONNECTED TO YOU, I'M REALLY INTERESTED IN YOU. AND WHEN MEN DON'T LOOK AT US, THAT CONVEYS ALL THE OPPOSITE. "I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU, I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU." AND SO IT STARTS THE WHOLE COMMUNICATION PROCESS OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT. >> WRONG FOOT. >> SO, WOMEN LIKE EYE CONTACT. MEN NEED TO JUST SORT OF JUMP IN THERE AND USE A LITTLE BIT MORE EYE CONTACT, WHICH DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU JUST-- >> STARE. STARE AND MAKE US NERVOUS. >> YES. YOU HAVE TO--3 SECONDS AT A TIME, LOOKING BACK AND FORTH AND THINGS LIKE THAT, BUT EYE CONTACT IS IMPORTANT TO WOMEN, AND IT'S IMPORTANT IN THE CONNECTION PIECE. >> AND YOU SAID ALSO, AS I NOTICED I WAS DOING AS YOU WERE TALKING, I WAS, "OH..." >> MM-HMM. RIGHT. SO-- >> WE WANT A LITTLE FEEDBACK. >> FEEDBACK. I CALL THEM LISTENING NOISES. >> NOISES. >> SO, IF YOU THINK ABOUT-- WHEN I SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND, HE JUST LISTENS, WHICH WOULD BE REALLY GOOD--IT'S GOOD. HE'S JUST LISTENING. BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT HE'S LISTENING, BECAUSE HE'S NOT GIVING ME ANY OF THOSE, "MM-HMM. GOOD IDEA. SUE, YOU'RE WONDERFUL." THOSE ARE LISTENING NOISES. THOSE ARE THE KIND OF LISTENING NOISES I WANT TO HEAR. "SUE, THAT IS SUCH A FASCINATING IDEA." SO--BUT MEN DON'T DO THAT NECESSARILY, SO, WOMEN-- SO, THAT-THAT TELLS ME THAT HE'S TRACKING WITH WHAT I'M SAYING, HE'S PAYING ATTENTION AND HE'S WITH ME. IF SOME-- IF A MAN--IF YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH A MAN AND HE'S NOT USING LISTENING NOISES, HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S LI-- >> ARE YOU STILL THERE? >> YEAH, ARE YOU THERE? EXACTLY. >> CAN YOU HEAR ME? >> CAN YOU HEAR ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? SO-SO, THE DIFFERENCES ARE SUBTLE, AND I THINK WE CAN WORK IT OUT INSTEAD OF JUST BEING AT WAR WITH ONE ANOTHER. >> AND RECOGNIZE THAT IS DIFFERENT TYPES OF TECHNIQUES. >> EXACTLY. >> AND SOMETHING ELSE THAT I THINK THAT YOU HAD MENTIONED WAS THAT MEN DON'T WANT ALL THOSE DETAILS AND ALL THE EMOTIONAL PART WE MIGHT PUT INTO IT OR THE RUMOR THAT GOES ALONG WITH WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. JUST CUT TO THE CHASE. >> EXACTLY. SO, MEN-- AND, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SOME DIFFERENCES. WE'RE KIND OF PAINTING A BROAD STROKE HERE, BUT TYPICALLY MEN WANT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM LINE. SO WHAT? THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT JOAN'S WEDDING DIDN'T GO WELL AND HER MOTHER SHOWED UP AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. WOMEN, WE TEND TO GET INTO THAT STORY. I CALL THEM THE SHAGGY DOG STORY. IT'S LIKE, "DUH." SO-SO, IF YOU WANT TO BE EFFECTIVE IN SPEECH AND YOUR COMMUNICATION, AND THIS GOES BEYOND EVEN THE SPOUSAL THING, THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU WANT TO MONITOR YOUR WORDS. YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TOO MUCH AND YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TOO BRIEFLY. YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE IT'S JUST RIGHT, AND THE WAY YOU CAN GAUGE THAT IS BY WATCHING BODY LANGUAGE. SO, IF YOU STARTED, YOU KNOW, IF YOU STARTED LOOKING AT YOUR WATCH OR YOU LOOKED AWAY OR YOU WALKED AWAY, I'D PRETTY MUCH KNOW I'VE LOST YOUR ATTENTION. >> RIGHT. >> SO, IT'S A ENGAGEMENT WITH THE COMMUNICATION. YOU HAVE TO BE WATCHING AS MUCH AS YOU'RE SPEAKING. AND THEN LISTENING, I SAY IT'S AN ACTIVE SPORT, BECAUSE YOU REALLY HAVE TO WORK AT LISTENING. AND, AGAIN, IF YOU SORT OF TOUCH BACK WITH OUR SOCIETY AND HOW BUSY WE ARE, WE'RE NOT REALLY LISTENING TO EACH OTHER. WE'RE DECIDING WHAT WE WANT TO DO NEXT. SO, IF YOU REALLY LISTEN TO SOMEBODY, YOU REALLY ENGAGE WITH THEM AT THE MOMENT LIKE YOU ARE WITH ME. YOU'RE ACTUALLY LOOKING AT ME, YOU'RE LISTENING. YOU KNOW, IF I SAID SOMETHING FUNNY, YOU'D PROBABLY LAUGH BECAUSE IT WAS THE APPROPRIATE TIME. BUT YOU'RE IN THE MOMENT AND YOU'RE PRESENT WITH ME, AND THAT VALIDATES THE SPEAKER. SO, THAT--THEREIN LIES THE SECRET, IS THAT YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LISTEN AND VALIDATE THE SPEAKER. >> AND ANOTHER POINT YOU MENTION I WANTED YOU TO COMMENT ON-- IT SAYS "JUDGE NOT THE CONTENT." >> RIGHT. >> WHETHER WE'RE INTERESTED OR NOT, WE CAN STILL LISTEN WITH AN OPEN MIND. >> OFTEN WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE, IT'S AN EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATION, AND-AND AS WE KNOW WITH CONFLICT OR ANY KIND OF EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATION, IT MAY NOT COME OUT AS WE EXPECT IT. IT MIGHT BE SHARPER THAN WE EXPECT, IT MIGHT BE MEANER THAN WE HAD PLANNED ON, AND-AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, YOU BREAK DOWN THE COMMUNICATION CONNECTION RIGHT THEN. SO-SO, I SAY IF I'M THE RECEIVER OF THAT, I'M GONNA BE MORE CONSIDERATE OF THAT THIS IS AN EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATION, SO I'M NOT GONNA JUDGE NECESSARILY THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY MEAN. I'M GONNA LOOK... >> BE OPEN-MINDED. >> "LOOK AT THE INTENT, NOT THE DELIVERY" IS KIND OF HOW YOU COULD PUT THAT. >> MM-HMM. >> SO, AND EVEN AT WORK, IF YOU'RE--IF YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT SOMEBODY OVER SOMETHING THAT'S PRETTY EMOTIONALLY DICEY OR IT'S GONNA BE HURTFUL, YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT IN MIND-- THAT NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE GONNA--IT MIGHT COME OUT A LITTLE BIT WEIRD, SO DON'T JUDGE THE-THE DELIVERY, JUDGE THE INTENT OF WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN BEHIND THAT. >> AND LIKE YOU MENTIONED A LITTLE BIT ON EARLIER, AVOID DISTRACTIONS. >> MM-HMM. >> I CAN THINK OF SO MANY TIMES--AND IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAPPEN IN THE KITCHEN, BECAUSE EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND A KITCHEN--BUT YOU'RE TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF COOKING, MAYBE GRANDKIDS, MAYBE THE DOORBELL RINGS, THE PHONE RINGS, YOU GOT A TEXT MESSAGE COMING IN, AND YET YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE TRYING TO AGREE ON MAYBE AIRLINE RESERVATIONS FOR A TRIP YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE. >> THAT'S A REALLY GOOD EXAMPLE, BUT YOU NEVER GET TO THE AGREEMENT PART, OR ELSE HE GOES AND MAKES A RESERVATION 'CAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU AGREED TO SOMETHING THAT YOU DIDN'T AGREE TO, SO, WE SUFFER FROM SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE WHO WORKED AT HEWLETT-PACKARD COINED AS CONTINUAL PARTIAL ATTENTION--CPA-- THAT WE DON'T GIVE ANY ONE THING ENOUGH ATTENTION TO REALLY FULLY ABSORB IT. BECAUSE WE'RE SO BUSY, WE SORT OF GIVE SNIPPETS OF OUR ATTENTION, AND IF YOU LOOK AT OUR NEWS, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SNIPPET. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SHORT LITTLE PIECE. >> YEAH. I HARDLY EVER READ ANYTHING IF IT'S OVER A LITTLE PARAGRAPH. >> RIGHT. >> I JUST WANT THE-- >> RIGHT. YOU WANT THE BOTTOM LINE. >> THE BOTTOM LINE. >> SO-SO, THAT CONTINUAL PARTIAL ATTENTION IS REALLY SEEPING INTO OUR-OUR WORLD, AND IT HAPPENS IN OUR COMMUNICATION, TOO. SO, WE GIVE THESE LITTLE SNIPPETS OF COMMUNICATION AS WE INTERACT WITH OUR SPOUSE, AND THEN WE FIND THAT WE AGREED TO SOMETHING WE DIDN'T WANT TO AGREE TO. AND-AND, SO, IT REALLY--AVOID THE DISTRACTIONS. I SAY SET ASIDE TIME SPECIFICALLY TO PAY ATTENTION AND VALUE YOUR SPOUSE ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN SIT THERE AND SAY, "LET'S-LET'S MAKE SOME DECISIONS ON THIS" INSTEAD OF FLYING OVER HERE, FLYING OVER THERE AND GOING TO WORK AND WHATEVER ELSE COMES UP. THERE'S A LOT-- ALWAYS GONNA BE A LOT OF DISTRACTIONS. >> AND IN THE LONG RUN, IT CERTAINLY DOES PAY OFF. >> WELL, HOPEFULLY IT DOES. >> YOU HOPE. WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THOSE ARE INTERESTING COMMENTS ABOUT THE DIFFERENT WAYS THAT WE COMMUNICATE. >> WELL, HAPPY SPOUSE TALK. >> THANK YOU. [LAUGHS] I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW TODAY. NEXT TIME ON "CREATIVE LIVING," WE'LL LEARN HOW TO MAKE TREAT POPS, TALK ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF ACUPUNCTURE, AND FIND OUT HOW TO USE CANDLES TO MAKE SPECIAL EVENTS EVEN MORE SPECIAL. ONE OF MY NEXT GUESTS IS GOING TO DEMONSTRATE HOW TO MAKE TREAT POPS, WHICH ARE SWEET INDIVIDUAL SERVINGS OF CAKE LAYERED WITH ICING OR A FAVORITE FILLING AND TOPPED WITH A FESTIVE ACCENT SUITABLE FOR ANY OCCASION. ANOTHER GUEST IS A DOCTOR OF ORIENTAL MEDICINE, AND HE'S ALSO WRITTEN A BOOK ON RELIEVING PAIN. HE'S GOING TO EXPLAIN WHAT ACUPUNCTURE CAN AND CANNOT DO. HE'LL ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW TO CHOOSE AN ACUPUNCTURIST, THE EXPENSE INVOLVED, AND DISCUSS INSURANCE COVERAGE. AND FINALLY WE'LL LEARN HOW CANDLES MAKE ALL EVENTS, SPECIAL OCCASIONS, AND GIFTS EVEN MORE SPECIAL. MY GUEST SAYS IT'S IMPORTANT TO CREATE A "WOW" FACTOR AT EVERY EVENT, AND CANDLES CAN HELP DO THIS. ALL OF THESE TOPICS WILL BE FEATURED ON THE NEXT "CREATIVE LIVING" SHOW. IF YOU EVER HAVE COMMENTS OR SUGGESTIONS OR IDEAS FOR SHOWS, YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AT SHERYL.BORDEN@ENMU.EDU. I'D ALSO LIKE TO ASK YOU TO BECOME A FAN OF "CREATIVE LIVING" ON FACEBOOK. JUST GO TO FACEBOOK.COM AND IN THE SEARCH WINDOW, TYPE IN "CREATIVE LIVING WITH SHERYL BORDEN." I HOPE YOU'LL PLAN TO JOIN ME NEXT TIME FOR "CREATIVE LIVING." >> WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO OFFER A NEW BOOKLET THAT ACCOMPANIES THIS SERIES OF "CREATIVE LIVING." THIS BOOKLET IS TITLED "THE 6700 SERIES," AND IT FEATURES A WONDERFUL COLLECTION OF IDEAS AND INFORMATION, AND IT'S AVAILABLE FREE OF CHARGE ON OUR WEBSITE. POSTED AS A PDF FILE, YOU CAN SIMPLY DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE BOOKLET OR JUST THE SEGMENTS YOU'RE MOST INTERESTED IN. YOU'LL FIND INFORMATION ON FOODS, NUTRITION, CLOTHING, FASHION, HEALTH AND BEAUTY, HOME DECORATING AND MUCH MORE. FOR YOUR COPY OF THIS NEW BOOKLET, GO TO OUR WEBSITE AT KENW.ORG AND THEN CLICK ON CREATIVE LIVING. SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOOKLET SECTION, AND YOU CAN CLICK ON THIS BOOKLET OR ON ANY OF THE OTHER BOOKLETS WE HAVE AVAILABLE ONLINE. JUST GO TO KENW.ORG, CLICK ON CREATIVE LIVING AND DOWNLOAD THE BOOKLET TITLED, "THE 6700 SERIES." WE ALSO INVITE YOU TO SIGN UP FOR OUR FREE E-NEWSLETTER. JUST GO TO KENW.ORG AND CLICK ON THE "SIGN UP NOW" BUTTON AND INPUT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS. THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. YOU'LL ENJOY READING AN UP-TO-DATE NEWSLETTER FILLED WITH INTERESTING TOPICS AND INFORMATION. THANK YOU.


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Motivational speaker Sue Hanson offers tips on effective communication, and Chef Johnny Vee discusses the many uses for shrimp in cooking.

Media Details

Run time: 27 minutes

Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 1
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 2
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 3
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 4
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 5
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 6
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 7
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 8
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 9
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12
Creative Living With Sheryl Borden
Season 65 / Ep 10
27 minutes
Grade Level: 7 - 12

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