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Creative Living With Sheryl Borden #6705

All Topics » Topic: Home and Family » Subject: Cooking » Creative Living With Sheryl Borden #6705
  • 2014
  • Grade/Interest Level: 7 - 12
  • Running Time: 27 minutes
  • Captioned English

Synopsis:

Motivational speaker Sue Hanson offers tips on effective communication, and Chef Johnny Vee discusses the many uses for shrimp in cooking.

Transcript:

>> "CREATIVE LIVING," UTILIZING TODAY'S TECHNOLOGY
WITH THE BEST OF THE PAST TO BRING YOU INNOVATIVE IDEAS
AND UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION FOR CREATIVE LIFESTYLES
IN TODAY'S ACTIVE WORLD WITH YOUR HOST--SHERYL BORDEN.
>> THANKS FOR JOINING ME TODAY FOR "CREATIVE LIVING."
WE'RE GOING TO LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY
AND THEN WE'LL DEMONSTRATE PREPARING SHRIMP.
ONE OF MY NEXT GUESTS IS SUE HANSEN, AND SHE'S
A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER FROM MONTROSE, COLORADO. SUE
WILL TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION,
WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR CHILDREN
OR A GOOD FRIEND.
SHE EMPHASIZES GREAT LISTENING SKILLS AND A DESIRE
TO CHANGE BEHAVIORS.
HER BUSINESS IS SUE HANSEN SPEAKS.
WE'LL BEGIN THE SHOW TODAY WITH JOHN VOLLERTSEN,
OR MORE COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS CHEF JOHNNY VEE, AND HE'S
A COOKBOOK AUTHOR AND A CHEF.
JOHN WILL DEMONSTRATE HOW TO COOK WITH INEXPENSIVE
AND VERSATILE SHRIMP.
HE STRESSES THAT SHRIMP ARE LOW FAT BUT BIG ON FLAVOR
AND THAT THEY'RE A VERSATILE INGREDIENT THAT ADAPTS
THEMSELVES EASILY TO MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CUISINE.
AND TO ILLUSTRATE THIS POINT, HE'LL PREPARE 3 GREAT RECIPES
THAT SHOWCASE HOW EASY SHRIMP IS TO INCORPORATE
INTO A FAMILY MEAL.
HIS COMPANY IS LAS COSAS COOKING SCHOOL IN SANTA FE,
NEW MEXICO. JOHN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH US.
I NOTICED IN YOUR BOOK THERE'S A WHOLE SECTION
ON COOKING SHRIMP.
>> I CALL THAT CHAPTER "SHRIMPLY DELICIOUS."
>> AND IT IS. [LAUGHS] >> AND, YOU KNOW, THE GREAT
THING ABOUT SHRIMP--AFFORDABLE, STAY IN THE FREEZER. YOU CAN
PULL A FEW OUT AT A TIME.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO THAW THE WHOLE BAG. AND THEY'RE
VERY VERSATILE. SO, TODAY-- >> AND THEY COOK FAST.
>> THEY COOK REALLY QUICKLY.
I'M SINGLE. I GET HOME FROM WORK. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE--
SPEND 2 HOURS COOKING A ROAST OR A CHICKEN. SHRIMP TAKE MINUTES,
AND THE KEY IS ALSO TO UNDERCOOK THEM SO THAT THEY DON'T GET
RUBBERY.
>> RUBBERY, UH-HUH.
>> THEY COOK ALMOST IN A MINUTE.
SO, TODAY WE'RE GONNA DO 2 THINGS. WE'RE GONNA MAKE A VERY
POPULAR SPANISH TAPA, WHICH IS SIMPLY SHRIMP SAUTEED
IN A LOT OF GARLIC, OLIVE OIL AND RED PEPPER FLAKES TO GIVE IT
A KICK. JUST SERVE WITH A LITTLE CROSTINI.
>> WHAT DOES "TAPA" MEAN?
I'VE SEEN THAT IN RECIPES.
>> AND THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
"TAPA" IS ACTUALLY A SPANISH WORD FOR "LID."
>> LID.
>> AND IN THE EARLY 1900s, WHEN BARS STARTED SERVING MAYBE
A LITTLE NOSH IN BARS AS SORT OF A BAR SNACK,
BARTENDERS--IF YOU THINK ABOUT SPAIN IS VERY DUSTY.
WHEN YOU WERE DRINKING YOUR SHERRY, THE BARTENDER MIGHT TAKE
A SLICE OF BREAD AND SET IT OVER YOUR GLASS, MEANING LID, "TAPA."
>> TO KEEP DUST FROM GETTING IN.
>> TO KEEP DUST OUT. AND SO THEN LITTLE BY LITTLE, YOU COULD EAT
THAT PIECE OF BREAD. THEN IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE PIECE
OF CHORIZO OR HAM, AND THEN IT JUST BECAME SORT OF
A SNACK FOOD.
>> I SEE...
>> SO, VERY VERSATILE. SO, WHAT I HAVE HERE IS SOME GOOD
EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL, AND I'M JUST GONNA HEAT THIS UP, AND I
CAN--WHOO, I CAN HEAR IT BUBBLING ALREADY. I'M GONNA ADD
SOME SLICED GARLIC, AND THAT'S ABOUT 8 GARLIC CLOVES.
>> MM-HMM.
>> I REALLY WANT TO GET THAT-- GET THAT BUBBLING, AND THAT'S
GONNA HAPPEN QUICK, AND AS SOON--BOY, AS SOON AS THAT
GARLIC IS BROWN, WE'RE GONNA ADD OUR SHRIMP, AND WE DO WANT TO BE
CAREFUL, 'CAUSE I THINK WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF
A SPLASHING GOING ON, OKAY?
NOW, I DON'T WANT TO ADD THE SHRIMP TOO QUICK,
BECAUSE THAT WILL STOP THE, UH, STOP THE SHRIMP FROM BROWNING,
OKAY? NOW, THESE ARE PEELED SHRIMP. THESE ARE MEDIUM SHRIMP.
I THAW THEM IN A LITTLE BIT OF WATER WITH SOME SALT IN IT,
AND THAT SORT OF ACTS LIKE A LITTLE--A LITTLE BIT
OF A MARINADE FOR THE SHRIMP SO THAT THEY KIND OF GET PLUMP
AGAIN.
>> THE SALT...
>> THE SALT DOES. YEAH, IT'S LIKE A LITTLE BRINE.
>> UH-HUH.
>> AND NOW I'VE GOT MY SHRIMP-- YOU CAN--OR MY LITTLE--MY LITTLE
GARLIC IS NICE AND GOLDEN.
>> UH-HUH.
>> AND THEN I'M GONNA CAREFULLY...
>> STAND BACK.
>> STAND BACK AND ADD MY SHRIMP.
NOW, SHERYL, THIS IS GONNA TAKE VIRTUALLY ONE MINUTE. REALIZE
AS SOON AS SHRIMP ARE PINK, THEY'RE DONE, OKAY?
>> AND YOU DON'T WANT TO TURN YOUR BACK AND GO DO SOMETHING
ELSE, BECAUSE THAT REALLY CAN-- IF THEY'RE OVERCOOKED,
THEY'RE JUST NOT GOOD.
>> YEAH, THEY'RE NOT GOOD, AND THEN THEY GET HARD AND THEY
SORT OF LOSE THEIR--AND THEN THIS IS JUST A BAGUETTE THAT I
SLICED AND TOASTED WITH A LITTLE BIT OF OLIVE OIL ON THERE.
>> MM-HMM.
>> WE'LL USE THAT AS A LITTLE VEHICLE TO EAT OUR SHRIMP WITH.
SOME RED PEPPER FLAKES, 'CAUSE YOU WANT THIS TO HAVE
A NICE LITTLE KICK.
ANOTHER THING YOU CAN DO WITH THIS, SHERYL, IS ACTUALLY
PUT THIS OVER LINGUINI AND HAVE LINGUINI WITH SHRIMP
AND HAVE A DELICIOUS PASTA DISH.
>> WELL, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
>> SO, WHILE THIS IS GOING-- I'M JUST GONNA LET THAT COOK
FOR ONE MORE MINUTE--OUR SAUCE FOR OUR WAFFLES IS ACTUALLY
GOING TO BE A SMOKED SHRIMP SAUCE, WHICH IS GOING TO BE
SORT OF A NICE BRUNCH DISH.
SO, WHAT I HAVE DONE IS I'VE SMOKED SOME SHRIMP.
THIS IS CALLED A CAMERON STOVETOP SMOKER. I USE THESE
ALL THE TIME. MEANT FOR COOKING INDOORS, SMOKING ON GAS,
ELECTRIC, OR GLASS-TOP STOVES.
>> UH-HUH.
>> AND IT COMES WITH WOOD CHIPS, WHICH ARE THERE, AND IT'S ALMOST
LIKE SAWDUST. IT DOESN'T REALLY LOOK LIKE CHIPS. IT'S REALLY
SAWDUST, AND VERY SIMPLY, THE DIRECTIONS TELL YOU TO ADD
2 TABLESPOONS OF THE WOOD CHIPS UNDER YOUR PAN IN HERE, AND THEN
LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE BABIES.
>> OH, GOSH, THOSE LOOK GREAT.
>> SO, THAT TOOK ABOUT 6 MINUTES TO SMOKE, SO THAT IS ACTUALLY
GONNA GO IN OUR SAUCE.
>> MM-HMM.
>> UH, YOU CAN SMOKE A SIDE OF SALMON IN ABOUT 11 MINUTES.
SO VERSATILE. I HAVE A BUNCH OF RECIPES FOR THE SMOKER
IN MY COOKBOOK. WHOOPS.
>> AND DON'T THEY SAY ALMOST ALL FISH YOU CAN FIGURE, UH, WHAT
IS IT? AN INCH--IT'S ABOUT 10 MINUTES PER INCH OR SOMETHING?
>> YEAH, YEAH, AND YOU CAN-- DEPENDING ON HOW THICK--
THE SHRIMP TOOK NOT LONG, BECAUSE THEY'RE SMALL.
>> YEAH, THEY'RE SO SMALL.
>> OKAY, LOOK AT THIS.
SO, THIS IS OUR BUBBLING SHRIMP.
>> MMM.
>> AND WE'LL HAVE THOSE IN A MINUTE. I'M JUST GONNA PUT
A LITTLE FRESH CILANTRO ON TOP THERE, AND THEN WE'LL
HAVE THOSE WITH OUR CROUTONS IN A MINUTE.
>> GOOD...
>> OKAY, SO, FOR THE SHRIMP SAUCE, I'VE GOT SOME BUTTER.
I'M GONNA SAUTE SOME SHALLOTS AND SOME GREEN SCALLIONS
OR GREEN ONIONS, OKAY?
GET THOSE A LITTLE BIT BROWN.
>> SCALLIONS AND ONIONS CAN BE USED INTERCHANGEABLY?
>> YEAH, IF YOU'D LIKE THEM TO BE A LITTLE BIT MILDER,
THEY'RE ACTUALLY A NICE-- A MILDER ONION.
>> OH.
>> OKAY. SO, I'M GONNA LET THOSE SOFTEN A LITTLE BIT.
NOW, FOR OUR WAFFLES.
THESE ARE CALLED OVERNIGHT WAFFLES, SO, IN MY BOOK, WHAT
YOU HAVE TO DO--AND I DID THIS LAST NIGHT--SO CUTE. IN MY
HOTEL ROOM, I WAS MIXING MY LITTLE WAFFLE MIX
ON THE TELEVISION.
SO, THIS IS FLOUR, BUTTERMILK, LITTLE BIT OF SUGAR, SALT,
AND A LITTLE BIT OF YEAST.
AND IF YOU HAVE A WHIFF OF THIS...
>> I CAN SMELL IT.
>> IT'S LIKE--THEY'RE GONNA THINK WE WERE MAKING BEER
IN MY ROOM.
>> [LAUGHS] YEAH.
>> SO, WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT IS GOT THIS STARTED. LET THIS
FOAM OVERNIGHT. NOW, THESE ARE 2 EGG YOLKS THAT TODAY, WHEN YOU
GET READY TO START MAKING YOUR WAFFLES, WE'RE GOING TO FOLD
THAT IN, AND THIS IS REAL-- LOOK AT THIS. OH, WOW.
>> IT JUST MAKES IT FLUFFIER BY MAKING IT AND LETTING IT SET
OVERNIGHT.
>> MAKING IT SET OVERNIGHT, YOU DEVELOP YOUR YEAST,
AND THEN BY FOLDING IN YOUR EGGS THE NEXT DAY, YOU'RE REALLY
GONNA HAVE LIGHT WAFFLES.
AND NOW THESE ARE MY 2 EGG WHITES THAT I'VE WHIPPED
UNTIL STIFF, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA FOLD THESE IN.
SO, THIS IS MY FAVORITE WAFFLE IRON. THIS IS A WARING
WAFFLE IRON, AND THEY MAKE REALLY BIG SORT OF, OH,
STATE-FAIR-SIZE WAFFLES.
SO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE REAL GENTLE WITH YOUR WHITES.
THIS CAN GO IN PRETTY QUICKLY.
>> UH-HUH.
>> NOTICE I'M GOING AROUND AND COMING IN THE MIDDLE,
AROUND AND IN THE MIDDLE.
DO YOU WANT TO FINISH THAT FOR ME, SHERYL, FOLDING?
AND THEN I'VE GOT MY ONIONS ARE SOFTENED HERE.
I'M GONNA ADD SOME NICE CHOPPED ROMA TOMATOES AND OF COURSE
SOME NICE CRISPY BACON.
>> YES.
>> BECAUSE THIS WILL MAKE A NICE BRUNCH DISH.
>> WELL, I, YOU KNOW, I MAKE WAFFLES A LOT, AND I USUALLY
HAVE BACON...
>> YEAH, SO THIS KIND OF-- >> BUT I HAD NEVER THOUGHT
ABOUT USING SHRIMP.
THAT JUST SOUNDS KIND OF ODD.
>> THE SMOKED SHRIMP ALMOST HAVE A BACON-Y SORT OF FLAVOR.
>> 'CAUSE THEY'RE A LITTLE CRISPER.
>> SO I'M GONNA THROW THESE IN.
AND THEN THE LIGHT--THE LOW-FAT PART OF THIS IS A CUP AND A HALF
OF HEAVY CREAM.
>> HMM.
>> BUT IT IS--YOU KNOW, BRUNCH FOOD IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED.
WHOOPS. I'M HAVING TROUBLE CATCHING MY--AND THEN WE'RE
GONNA ADD A LITTLE BIT OF FISH STOCK, WHICH I MAKE, BUT YOU CAN
ALSO USE CLAM JUICE.
JUST BOTTLED CLAM JUICE IS FINE.
>> RIGHT. YOU CAN BUY THAT.
>> SO I'M GONNA ADD A LITTLE BIT OF THAT.
OKAY, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA ADD OUR CREAM, LET THIS SIMMER DOWN,
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA LADLE THIS OVER OUR FINISHED WAFFLES.
>> OH, MY GOSH.
THIS HAS TO BE GOOD.
>> THIS'LL BE YUMMY.
NOW, THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE, OF COURSE, IS SOMETHING CALLED
SMOKED SPANISH PAPRIKA.
THIS COMES FROM SPAIN.
IT IS PAPRIKA THAT'S BEEN SMOKED AND IT'S A WONDERFUL ADDITION.
I USE THIS IN A LOT OF-- >> DO YOU BUY THAT IN A...
>> YES, MORE IN A SPECIALTY STORE.
>> OKAY.
>> IT MAY NOT BE IN YOUR LOCAL GROCERY STORE, BUT, UM--
>> BUT IT'S WORTH BUYING, AND I GUESS IT WOULD LAST
QUITE A WHILE.
>> YEAH. AND I USE IT IN POTATO SALAD AND--OKAY.
SO, I'VE GOT MY WAFFLE IRON HEATED UP. NOW, THE COOL THING
ABOUT THIS WAFFLE IRON IS AFTER I FILL IT, YOU FLIP IT, AND THAT
HELPS THAT WAFFLE DROP DOWN SO THAT IT DOESN'T STICK.
I'M GONNA GIVE IT A VERY LIGHT SPRAY WITH VEGETABLE SPRAY...
>> MM-HMM.
>> AND THEN WE'RE GONNA TAKE A NICE LADLE OF OUR BATTER,
AND IT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF PRACTICE TO SEE HOW MUCH
OF THIS YOU NEED. YOU DON'T WANT IT TO BE OOZING OUT
THE SIDES, BUT-- >> IT DEPENDS ON YOUR OWN
WAFFLE IRON, TOO...
>> YEAH. WHATEVER YOUR-- SO, I'M GONNA DROP THIS
AND THEN FLIP IT AROUND, AND THE COOL THING IS A LIGHT
COMES ON AND TELLS ME WHEN IT'S READY, WHICH IS GREAT.
SO, LET'S MOVE THAT.
THAT'S ONLY GONNA TAKE A MINUTE.
NOW, THIS SAUCE WILL JUST THICKEN ENOUGH THAT WE CAN, UM,
SERVE IT OVER-- >> SO, WE'RE GOING TO PUT
THE SMOKED SHRIMP ON TOP OF THE WAFFLE...
>> ON TOP OF THE WAFFLE...
>> AND THEN POUR THE SAUCE ON IT. I SEE.
>> AS OUR SAUCE.
SO, THIS'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE.
YOU KNOW, CERTAINLY, THESE WAFFLES YOU COULD SERVE
AS REGULAR WAFFLES, AS YOUR BREAKFAST WAFFLES AND STUFF,
BUT THEY'RE REALLY DELICIOUS WAFFLES. I'M MORE OF CRISPY
WAFFLE GUY. I'M NOT A-- NOT A SOFT--
MY 95-YEAR-OLD FATHER HAS FROZEN WAFFLES IN THE FREEZER
THAT HE PUTS IN THE TOASTER.
I'M LIKE, "DAD, THOSE ARE NOT--" >> THAT'S NOT REALLY WAFFLES.
>> YEAH, THAT'S NOT-- >> BUT THEY'RE NICE IN A HURRY.
>> YEAH, THEY'RE GOOD FOR A HURRY, BUT--SO, THIS IS
GONNA THICKEN VERY QUICKLY, AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE
GARNISH OF CILANTRO.
AND THEN WE'LL--NOW, WHAT I DO OCCASIONALLY IS, SO YOU DON'T
GET YOUR WAFFLE TOO DARK, MOST WAFFLE IRONS DO HAVE
AN ADJUSTMENT FOR HOW LONG THEY LAST, BUT WE CAN KIND OF
TURN--LET'S DO THAT FOR ONE MORE MINUTE.
>> OH. UH-HUH.
>> UNTIL THEY'RE NICE AND GOLDEN BROWN.
>> THIS IS MORE LIKE WHAT THEY CALL THOSE BELGIAN WAFFLES.
>> BELGIAN WAFFLES.
>> THEY'RE THICK.
>> YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING OF.
YOU KNOW, I LOVE HOW ALL THE STATE FAIRS THIS SUMMER
ALWAYS ANNOUNCE THE NEWEST FAST FOOD, AND DID YOU HEAR
LAST YEAR, I THINK IT WAS IN TEXAS, THEY HAD FRIED BUTTER
WAS ONE-ONE OF THE-- >> FRIED BUTTER?
>> FRIED BUTTER. THEY TOOK-- MADE A LITTLE DUMPLING OUT OF
BUTTER, FRIED IT, AND WHEN YOU BIT INTO IT, THERE WAS
MELTING BUTTER IN THERE, SO-- >> OH. WELL, I WONDER
HOW THAT WENT OVER.
>> YEAH, YEAH. DON'T KNOW IF THAT WOULD GO OVER.
WE'D HAVE TO HAVE GREEN CHILI MELTED BUTTER HERE. ALL RIGHT,
SO, THAT'S THICKENING UP NICELY.
AND I'M JUST GONNA CHECK THIS AGAIN.
I THINK THAT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.
LET'S LEAVE IT FOR ONE MORE MINUTE. THE OLD--THE OLD
TELEVISION THING WHERE YOU'RE WATCHING THE WAFFLE COOK,
YOU KNOW.
>> A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS.
>> REALLY. SO, IF YOU'D LIKE...
[WAFFLE IRON BEEPING] THERE WE GO. IF YOU'D LIKE
TO DO THIS WITHOUT THE BACON, CERTAINLY YOU CAN DO THAT,
JUST TO MAKE IT, YOU KNOW, NOT QUITE AS--OKAY, SO I FLIP
THAT OVER. LOOK AT THAT BABY.
>> OOH, THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL ONE.
>> SO, I'M GONNA CAREFULLY-- THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE TO BEING--
TO BEING A FULL...
>> UH-HUH.
>> AND THEN LOOK AT THAT.
>> OOH, IT IS FLUFFY. HA HA.
>> AND NOW--YEAH. NOW I'M GONNA TAKE SOME OF MY SAUCE,
AND WE'LL JUST TOP OUR LITTLE WAFFLE, AND THEN WE CAN HAVE
SOME OF OUR TAPAS HERE.
TAKE THAT.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE WE GET ALL THE SHRIMP IN THERE.
>> UH-HUH. THAT'S THE BEST PART.
>> YEAH, REALLY.
>> SO, THIS WOULD BE ONE SERVING.
>> YEAH, I THINK THIS-- YOU MIGHT EVEN--DEPENDING ON
HOW BIG YOUR-YOUR BRUNCH FESTS ARE, YOU COULD EVEN CUT THOSE
INTO QUARTERS. SOMETIMES WHEN I'M DOING A BRUNCH,
THIS IS ONE OF THE DISHES I DO, AND THEN WE GIVE EVERYBODY
SORT OF A QUARTER OF A WAFFLE.
>> RIGHT.
>> AND THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE AN EGG DISH AS WELL.
>> AND MAYBE IF YOU HAVE FRESH FRUIT, THAT WOULD NOT TAKE
UP SO MUCH ROOM ON THE-- ON THE SAME PLATE.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
A LITTLE FRESH CILANTRO.
LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT IS.
>> MMM.
>> SO, THAT'S OUR BELGIAN WAFFLE WITH A CREAMY SHRIMP SAUCE.
>> MM-HMM.
>> AND WHY DON'T WE TRY OUR LITTLE TAPAS HERE?
YOU DO WANT TO BE CAREFUL WHEN THAT SHRIMP IS HOT,
'CAUSE THAT CAN--AND WHAT I DO IS JUST PUT A CROSTINI DOWN,
GRAB A LITTLE SHRIMP, PUT IT ON TOP THERE.
WE'LL TRY TO BALANCE THIS.
OOP. AND THEN WE HAVE SORT OF AROUND THE WORLD WITH SHRIMP.
>> HMM.
>> I'LL LET YOU GRAB ONE, SHERYL, AND WE CAN SEE IF THAT
CAN GET INTO OUR...
>> [CRUNCHING] >> MMM.
>> MMM.
>> YUMMY. GOOD, GOOD.
AND NEXT WE'LL HAVE OUR WAFFLES.
>> OKAY. WELL, JOHN, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
EXCUSE ME FOR TALKING WHILE I'M EATING.
YOU ALWAYS BRING THINGS THAT ARE UNUSUAL BUT YET THINGS
THAT WOULD BE EASY ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE TO PREPARE.
>> AND I THINK COOKING SHOULD BE QUICK AND NOT--I MEAN, THESE ARE
FAIRLY INTERESTING AND EXOTIC DISHES, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SPEND ALL DAY IN THE KITCHEN.
>> MM-HMM. BUT YOUR GUESTS WILL THINK YOU DID,
AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.
>> THAT'S THE BEST PART.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING HERE TODAY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> SUE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH US TODAY.
AND WE'RE GOING TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT COMMUNICATION BUT ABOUT
A SPECIAL TYPE OF COMMUNICATION.
TELL US ABOUT THIS.
>> ARE YOU MARRIED?
>> YES.
>> SO, WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT SPOUSE TALK. YOU KNOW, WHAT'S
INTERESTING TO ME ABOUT COMMUNICATION WITH SPOUSES IS,
I MEAN, THIS IS THE PERSON THAT YOU KNOW THE BEST IN YOUR WHOLE
LIFE. I MEAN, YOU LIVE WITH THIS PERSON, YOU'RE INTIMATE
WITH THIS PERSON, YOU COMMUN-- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
COMMUNICATING. YOU DO EVERYTHING WITH THIS PERSON, AND YET
THE COMMUNICATION SEEMS TO BE DIFFICULT.
DON'T YOU FIND THAT?
>> WELL, AND DON'T THEY SAY THAT BESIDES MONEY, SOMETIMES
IN-LAWS, THE LACK OR-- OF COMMUNICATION IS ONE OF
THE BIGGEST REASONS FOR DIVORCE?
>> IT IS, AND, YOU KNOW, EVEN IF YOU TAKE IT TO THE CORPORATE
LEVEL, EVERY TIME I GET CALLED IN TO TALK TO A COMPANY,
THE PROBLEMS USUALLY STEM FROM COMMUNICATION,
LACK OF COMMUNICATION.
>> YEAH.
>> IT'S JUST HARD TO REALLY CONNECT, AND THEN WHEN WE HAVE
THE LAYERED TECHNOLOGY, IT REALLY EVEN MAKES IT
THAT MUCH MORE DIFFICULT, BUT IT'S DIFFICULT TO TALK
TO YOUR SPOUSE, IT'S DIFFICULT TO HAVE THOSE CONVERSATIONS.
SO I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE USEFUL TO TALK A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT BETWEEN MALES AND FEMALES?
AND IT TURNS OUT, YOU KNOW, WE TALK--WE SPEAK DIFFERENTLY.
WE HEAR DIFFERENTLY.
>> LIKE THE VENUS AND MARS TYPE OF INFORMATION?
>> KIND OF, YEAH. I THINK-- >> WE'RE DIFFERENT.
>> YEAH, WE'RE DIFFERENT, AND YOU REALLY HAVE TO HAVE SOME
SPECIFIC INTENTION IN ORDER TO MAKE IT BETTER IN YOUR
HOUSEHOLD, SO, YOU KNOW, IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW,
WE COMMUNICATE BY DASHING FROM ONE ROOM TO THE OTHER.
AS MY HUSBAND GETS OLDER, HE CAN'T HEAR ME FROM THIS ROOM
TO THAT ROOM, SO NOW WE HAVE A RULE WE HAVE TO BE IN THE SAME
ROOM WHEN WE TALK SO HE-- I GUESS HE CAN LIP-READ.
I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT HE'S DOING, BUT STILL--
>> AND THERE'S STILL THE TV IN THE BACKGROUND, BLARING
IN OUR CASE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, SO IT REALLY IS--BECAUSE IT'S SUCH AN
IMPORTANT THING, AND, YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK AT DIVORCE IS--
53% OF THE MARRIAGES END UP IN DIVORCE. I CAN'T HELP BUT
THINK MANY OF THEM ARE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT COMMUNICATING,
BECAUSE IT TAKES, AGAIN, ENERGY TO COMMUNICATE WELL.
SO, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SPOUSES IS REALLY
ESSENTIAL. SO, I THINK PUTTING SOME THOUGHT INTO HOW MEN
COMMUNICATE AND HOW WOMEN COMMUNICATE IS REALLY USEFUL.
SO, I HAVE A COUPLE OF TIPS.
NOW, YOU MAY WANNA TRY THIS ON YOUR HUSBAND. I'M NOT REALLY
SURE WHY WE CAN'T COMMUNICATE.
I'M NOT REALLY SURE--IT SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD BE SO SIMPLE,
BUT IT REALLY IS VERY DIFFICULT.
>> WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS YOU MENTIONED THAT I HADN'T
THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEING A TYPE OF COMMUNICATION WAS THAT
BESIDES TALKING ALL THE TIME, WE DON'T LISTEN ENOUGH
OR LISTEN WELL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, AND I THINK IN OUR-- IF YOU THINK ABOUT 2 PEOPLE
TALKING, THE PERSON TALKING IS SPENDING THE NEXT TIME,
NEXT MINUTE LISTENING-- NOT LISTENING TO THE PERSON,
BUT THINKING ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE GONNA SAY, SO--AND WE'VE BECOME
THAT KIND OF A SOCIETY, IT SEEMS TO ME. SO, LISTENING IS
A LOST ART, AND IT TAKES ENERGY TO LISTEN AS WELL, SO, FROM
A COMMUNICATIONS STANDPOINT, THERE'S A COUPLE THINGS
THAT WOMEN LIKE BETTER.
WOMEN LIKE MEN TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR EYES. THEY LIKE
TO HAVE EYE CONTACT. AND DO YOU THINK MEN USE EYE CONTACT
VERY MUCH?
>> WELL, NO, BECAUSE THEY'RE USUALLY WATCHING THE TELEVISION
AND LISTENING TO YOU WITH ONE EAR.
>> YEAH. ACTUALLY, THEY DO NOT.
THEY'RE NOT--WOMEN TEND TO USE EYE CONTACT MORE AND WE ACTUALLY
GAZE WITH EYE CONTACT LONGER THAN MEN DO ON AVERAGE,
SO MORE SECONDS SPENT IN REALLY LISTENING TO, AND WHEN WE USE
EYE CONTACT IN OUR CULTURE, IT MEANS THAT I'M LISTENING
TO YOU, I'M CONNECTED TO YOU, I'M REALLY INTERESTED IN YOU.
AND WHEN MEN DON'T LOOK AT US, THAT CONVEYS ALL THE OPPOSITE.
"I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU, I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU."
AND SO IT STARTS THE WHOLE COMMUNICATION PROCESS OFF
ON THE WRONG FOOT.
>> WRONG FOOT.
>> SO, WOMEN LIKE EYE CONTACT.
MEN NEED TO JUST SORT OF JUMP IN THERE AND USE A LITTLE BIT
MORE EYE CONTACT, WHICH DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU JUST--
>> STARE. STARE AND MAKE US NERVOUS.
>> YES. YOU HAVE TO--3 SECONDS AT A TIME, LOOKING BACK
AND FORTH AND THINGS LIKE THAT, BUT EYE CONTACT IS IMPORTANT
TO WOMEN, AND IT'S IMPORTANT IN THE CONNECTION PIECE.
>> AND YOU SAID ALSO, AS I NOTICED I WAS DOING AS YOU
WERE TALKING, I WAS, "OH..."
>> MM-HMM. RIGHT. SO-- >> WE WANT A LITTLE FEEDBACK.
>> FEEDBACK. I CALL THEM LISTENING NOISES.
>> NOISES.
>> SO, IF YOU THINK ABOUT-- WHEN I SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND,
HE JUST LISTENS, WHICH WOULD BE REALLY GOOD--IT'S GOOD.
HE'S JUST LISTENING.
BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT HE'S LISTENING, BECAUSE HE'S NOT
GIVING ME ANY OF THOSE, "MM-HMM.
GOOD IDEA. SUE, YOU'RE WONDERFUL." THOSE ARE LISTENING
NOISES. THOSE ARE THE KIND OF LISTENING NOISES I WANT
TO HEAR. "SUE, THAT IS SUCH A FASCINATING IDEA."
SO--BUT MEN DON'T DO THAT NECESSARILY, SO, WOMEN--
SO, THAT-THAT TELLS ME THAT HE'S TRACKING WITH WHAT I'M SAYING,
HE'S PAYING ATTENTION AND HE'S WITH ME. IF SOME--
IF A MAN--IF YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH A MAN AND HE'S NOT USING
LISTENING NOISES, HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S LI--
>> ARE YOU STILL THERE?
>> YEAH, ARE YOU THERE? EXACTLY.
>> CAN YOU HEAR ME?
>> CAN YOU HEAR ME?
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
SO-SO, THE DIFFERENCES ARE SUBTLE, AND I THINK WE CAN
WORK IT OUT INSTEAD OF JUST BEING AT WAR WITH ONE ANOTHER.
>> AND RECOGNIZE THAT IS DIFFERENT TYPES OF TECHNIQUES.
>> EXACTLY.
>> AND SOMETHING ELSE THAT I THINK THAT YOU HAD MENTIONED
WAS THAT MEN DON'T WANT ALL THOSE DETAILS AND ALL
THE EMOTIONAL PART WE MIGHT PUT INTO IT OR THE RUMOR THAT GOES
ALONG WITH WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.
>> EXACTLY. SO, MEN-- AND, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SOME
DIFFERENCES. WE'RE KIND OF PAINTING A BROAD STROKE HERE,
BUT TYPICALLY MEN WANT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM LINE. SO WHAT?
THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT JOAN'S WEDDING DIDN'T GO WELL
AND HER MOTHER SHOWED UP AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED.
WOMEN, WE TEND TO GET INTO THAT STORY. I CALL THEM
THE SHAGGY DOG STORY.
IT'S LIKE, "DUH." SO-SO, IF YOU WANT TO BE EFFECTIVE IN SPEECH
AND YOUR COMMUNICATION, AND THIS GOES BEYOND EVEN THE SPOUSAL
THING, THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU WANT TO MONITOR YOUR WORDS. YOU DON'T
WANT TO TALK TOO MUCH AND YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TOO BRIEFLY.
YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE IT'S JUST RIGHT, AND THE WAY
YOU CAN GAUGE THAT IS BY WATCHING BODY LANGUAGE.
SO, IF YOU STARTED, YOU KNOW, IF YOU STARTED LOOKING AT YOUR
WATCH OR YOU LOOKED AWAY OR YOU WALKED AWAY,
I'D PRETTY MUCH KNOW I'VE LOST YOUR ATTENTION.
>> RIGHT.
>> SO, IT'S A ENGAGEMENT WITH THE COMMUNICATION.
YOU HAVE TO BE WATCHING AS MUCH AS YOU'RE SPEAKING.
AND THEN LISTENING, I SAY IT'S AN ACTIVE SPORT,
BECAUSE YOU REALLY HAVE TO WORK AT LISTENING. AND, AGAIN,
IF YOU SORT OF TOUCH BACK WITH OUR SOCIETY AND HOW BUSY
WE ARE, WE'RE NOT REALLY LISTENING TO EACH OTHER.
WE'RE DECIDING WHAT WE WANT TO DO NEXT.
SO, IF YOU REALLY LISTEN TO SOMEBODY, YOU REALLY ENGAGE
WITH THEM AT THE MOMENT LIKE YOU ARE WITH ME.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY LOOKING AT ME, YOU'RE LISTENING. YOU KNOW,
IF I SAID SOMETHING FUNNY, YOU'D PROBABLY LAUGH BECAUSE
IT WAS THE APPROPRIATE TIME.
BUT YOU'RE IN THE MOMENT AND YOU'RE PRESENT WITH ME,
AND THAT VALIDATES THE SPEAKER.
SO, THAT--THEREIN LIES THE SECRET, IS THAT YOU HAVE TO
BE WILLING TO LISTEN AND VALIDATE THE SPEAKER.
>> AND ANOTHER POINT YOU MENTION I WANTED YOU TO COMMENT ON--
IT SAYS "JUDGE NOT THE CONTENT."
>> RIGHT.
>> WHETHER WE'RE INTERESTED OR NOT, WE CAN STILL LISTEN
WITH AN OPEN MIND.
>> OFTEN WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE,
IT'S AN EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATION, AND-AND AS WE KNOW
WITH CONFLICT OR ANY KIND OF EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATION,
IT MAY NOT COME OUT AS WE EXPECT IT.
IT MIGHT BE SHARPER THAN WE EXPECT, IT MIGHT BE MEANER
THAN WE HAD PLANNED ON, AND-AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
YOU BREAK DOWN THE COMMUNICATION CONNECTION RIGHT THEN.
SO-SO, I SAY IF I'M THE RECEIVER OF THAT, I'M GONNA BE MORE
CONSIDERATE OF THAT THIS IS AN EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATION,
SO I'M NOT GONNA JUDGE NECESSARILY THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
THEY MEAN. I'M GONNA LOOK...
>> BE OPEN-MINDED.
>> "LOOK AT THE INTENT, NOT THE DELIVERY" IS KIND OF HOW
YOU COULD PUT THAT.
>> MM-HMM.
>> SO, AND EVEN AT WORK, IF YOU'RE--IF YOU HAVE TO
CONFRONT SOMEBODY OVER SOMETHING THAT'S PRETTY EMOTIONALLY DICEY
OR IT'S GONNA BE HURTFUL, YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT IN MIND--
THAT NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE GONNA--IT MIGHT COME OUT
A LITTLE BIT WEIRD, SO DON'T JUDGE THE-THE DELIVERY,
JUDGE THE INTENT OF WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN BEHIND THAT.
>> AND LIKE YOU MENTIONED A LITTLE BIT ON EARLIER,
AVOID DISTRACTIONS.
>> MM-HMM.
>> I CAN THINK OF SO MANY TIMES--AND IT ALWAYS SEEMS
TO HAPPEN IN THE KITCHEN, BECAUSE EVERYTHING REVOLVES
AROUND A KITCHEN--BUT YOU'RE TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF COOKING,
MAYBE GRANDKIDS, MAYBE THE DOORBELL RINGS, THE PHONE
RINGS, YOU GOT A TEXT MESSAGE COMING IN, AND YET YOU AND YOUR
HUSBAND ARE TRYING TO AGREE ON MAYBE AIRLINE RESERVATIONS
FOR A TRIP YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE.
>> THAT'S A REALLY GOOD EXAMPLE, BUT YOU NEVER GET TO
THE AGREEMENT PART, OR ELSE HE GOES AND MAKES A RESERVATION
'CAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU AGREED TO SOMETHING THAT YOU DIDN'T
AGREE TO, SO, WE SUFFER FROM SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE
WHO WORKED AT HEWLETT-PACKARD COINED AS CONTINUAL PARTIAL
ATTENTION--CPA-- THAT WE DON'T GIVE ANY ONE THING
ENOUGH ATTENTION TO REALLY FULLY ABSORB IT. BECAUSE WE'RE
SO BUSY, WE SORT OF GIVE SNIPPETS OF OUR ATTENTION,
AND IF YOU LOOK AT OUR NEWS, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SNIPPET.
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SHORT LITTLE PIECE.
>> YEAH. I HARDLY EVER READ ANYTHING IF IT'S OVER A LITTLE
PARAGRAPH.
>> RIGHT.
>> I JUST WANT THE-- >> RIGHT. YOU WANT
THE BOTTOM LINE.
>> THE BOTTOM LINE.
>> SO-SO, THAT CONTINUAL PARTIAL ATTENTION IS REALLY SEEPING INTO
OUR-OUR WORLD, AND IT HAPPENS IN OUR COMMUNICATION, TOO.
SO, WE GIVE THESE LITTLE SNIPPETS OF COMMUNICATION
AS WE INTERACT WITH OUR SPOUSE, AND THEN WE FIND THAT WE AGREED
TO SOMETHING WE DIDN'T WANT TO AGREE TO. AND-AND, SO, IT
REALLY--AVOID THE DISTRACTIONS.
I SAY SET ASIDE TIME SPECIFICALLY TO PAY ATTENTION
AND VALUE YOUR SPOUSE ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN SIT THERE AND SAY,
"LET'S-LET'S MAKE SOME DECISIONS ON THIS" INSTEAD OF FLYING OVER
HERE, FLYING OVER THERE AND GOING TO WORK AND WHATEVER
ELSE COMES UP. THERE'S A LOT-- ALWAYS GONNA BE A LOT
OF DISTRACTIONS.
>> AND IN THE LONG RUN, IT CERTAINLY DOES PAY OFF.
>> WELL, HOPEFULLY IT DOES.
>> YOU HOPE. WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THOSE ARE INTERESTING
COMMENTS ABOUT THE DIFFERENT WAYS THAT WE COMMUNICATE.
>> WELL, HAPPY SPOUSE TALK.
>> THANK YOU. [LAUGHS] I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
THE SHOW TODAY.
NEXT TIME ON "CREATIVE LIVING," WE'LL LEARN HOW TO MAKE
TREAT POPS, TALK ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF ACUPUNCTURE,
AND FIND OUT HOW TO USE CANDLES TO MAKE SPECIAL EVENTS
EVEN MORE SPECIAL.
ONE OF MY NEXT GUESTS IS GOING TO DEMONSTRATE HOW
TO MAKE TREAT POPS, WHICH ARE SWEET INDIVIDUAL SERVINGS
OF CAKE LAYERED WITH ICING OR A FAVORITE FILLING AND TOPPED
WITH A FESTIVE ACCENT SUITABLE FOR ANY OCCASION.
ANOTHER GUEST IS A DOCTOR OF ORIENTAL MEDICINE,
AND HE'S ALSO WRITTEN A BOOK ON RELIEVING PAIN. HE'S GOING TO
EXPLAIN WHAT ACUPUNCTURE CAN AND CANNOT DO. HE'LL ALSO TALK
ABOUT HOW TO CHOOSE AN ACUPUNCTURIST, THE EXPENSE
INVOLVED, AND DISCUSS INSURANCE COVERAGE.
AND FINALLY WE'LL LEARN HOW CANDLES MAKE ALL EVENTS,
SPECIAL OCCASIONS, AND GIFTS EVEN MORE SPECIAL. MY GUEST
SAYS IT'S IMPORTANT TO CREATE A "WOW" FACTOR AT EVERY EVENT,
AND CANDLES CAN HELP DO THIS.
ALL OF THESE TOPICS WILL BE FEATURED ON THE NEXT
"CREATIVE LIVING" SHOW.
IF YOU EVER HAVE COMMENTS OR SUGGESTIONS OR IDEAS FOR SHOWS,
YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AT SHERYL.BORDEN@ENMU.EDU.
I'D ALSO LIKE TO ASK YOU TO BECOME A FAN OF "CREATIVE
LIVING" ON FACEBOOK. JUST GO TO FACEBOOK.COM AND IN THE SEARCH
WINDOW, TYPE IN "CREATIVE LIVING WITH SHERYL BORDEN."
I HOPE YOU'LL PLAN TO JOIN ME NEXT TIME
FOR "CREATIVE LIVING."
>> WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO OFFER A NEW BOOKLET
THAT ACCOMPANIES THIS SERIES OF "CREATIVE LIVING."
THIS BOOKLET IS TITLED "THE 6700 SERIES,"
AND IT FEATURES A WONDERFUL COLLECTION
OF IDEAS AND INFORMATION, AND IT'S AVAILABLE
FREE OF CHARGE ON OUR WEBSITE.
POSTED AS A PDF FILE, YOU CAN SIMPLY DOWNLOAD
THE ENTIRE BOOKLET OR JUST THE SEGMENTS
YOU'RE MOST INTERESTED IN.
YOU'LL FIND INFORMATION ON FOODS, NUTRITION,
CLOTHING, FASHION, HEALTH AND BEAUTY,
HOME DECORATING AND MUCH MORE.
FOR YOUR COPY OF THIS NEW BOOKLET,
GO TO OUR WEBSITE AT KENW.ORG AND THEN CLICK ON
CREATIVE LIVING.
SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOOKLET SECTION, AND YOU CAN
CLICK ON THIS BOOKLET OR ON ANY OF THE OTHER BOOKLETS
WE HAVE AVAILABLE ONLINE.
JUST GO TO KENW.ORG, CLICK ON CREATIVE LIVING
AND DOWNLOAD THE BOOKLET TITLED, "THE 6700 SERIES."
WE ALSO INVITE YOU TO SIGN UP FOR
OUR FREE E-NEWSLETTER.
JUST GO TO KENW.ORG AND CLICK ON THE "SIGN UP NOW"
BUTTON AND INPUT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS. THAT'S ALL THERE IS
TO IT. YOU'LL ENJOY READING AN UP-TO-DATE NEWSLETTER
FILLED WITH INTERESTING TOPICS AND INFORMATION. THANK YOU.