Kids Speak Out: Facing Their Fears
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[dramatic music]
(Describer) Titles appear over computer generated images of the rotating earth and the Covid 19 virus. Barbara Harrison Media. Kids speak out. Today.
♪
(Describer) Coronavirus. Covid 19. A floating medical capsule spills its contents.
Hello, and welcome to "Kids Speak Out." We're glad to have you with us. We're continuing our discussion about how the Coronavirus is affecting our feelings. And we're very lucky today to have Dr. Joshua Weiner, a child psychiatrist very well known across the country, who's gonna help answer some of our questions, and maybe shed some light on some things you might be thinking about. Let's find out who's with us again today. Hi, my name is Matías. I'm nine, and I live in Florence in Italy. Let's go to Monte Carlo. Hi, my name is Taís. I'm ten, and I'm from Monte Carlo. Hi, my name is Lucas. I'm 11--I'm 11 years-old. Hi, my name is Cal. I am ten years old, and I am from Mill Valley, California. Hi, I'm Charlotte. I'm 17, and I live in Stratford-upon-Avon. Hi, my name's Olivia and I'm 17, and I live in Sao Paolo, Brazil. Hi, I'm Riley. I'm 15, and I live in Los Angeles, California. Hi, I'm Grayson. I'm 13, and I live in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Hi, my name's Filipe, I'm 15, and I live in Sao Paolo, Brazil.
(Oliver) Hi, I'm Oliver, and I'm 15 years old and live in Los Angeles, California. Yes. What really annoys you about this whole experience? Or is there anything? Maybe you don't have anything that bothers you. Um, the thing that bothers me the most is that we can't see our friends. Do you see any of your friends in any way? Do you, um-- do you have any way of connecting with them? A phone or-- Um, I've seen them a lot with Zoom and Google Classroom. That's another app like Zoom. Or I've had some friends at my house. And I think you told me that you also play the-- one of the games, Fortnite, right? Yeah, but-- Anybody else play Fortnite?
(Describer) Kids raise their hands.
Anybody ever heard of it? Okay-- I play a similar game. Yeah? I used to, but I don't play anymore that much. Well, Lucas, what do you and Taís do-- We're lucky to have a brother and sister together. In fact, most of you, I guess, have siblings, but do you find that you like them more now, because they're the only friend around? Or less 'cause they're around too much? Sometimes less, sometimes-- Yeah.
(Describer) Dr. Weiner laughs.
[chuckles]
(Harrison) Sometimes less, sometimes more. Play in the pool, and-- We play together in the pool, and sometimes Taís skates with me.
[inaudible]
Well, I guess in the south of France, you've probably been able to stay out in the pool quite often, huh? The weather's really good there. Yeah. Here in Washington, we're not sure whether it's winter or spring yet, but it's a--it looks like spring. We've got the leaves all coming out. And that's another thing, Dr. Weiner. I think that all of us, when we see how beautiful it is outside, we feel like we're locked in our homes and can't enjoy it. We're gonna miss a whole season. I know, it's really unfortunate. I mean, I do think that it's possible, though, to try to get outside as much as you possibly can. I think as long as you're taking necessary safety precautions, I don't really see why there would be an issue with going out for a walk, or going out for a bike ride or a jog, just making sure that you're staying clear of people, maybe wearing a mask, and enjoying the outdoors. I certainly see a lot of people doing it around where I live. Now, granted I'm right now coming to you from Louisiana, where the weather's warm. So it's been beautiful, people are out walking and doing things outside. But I think even in the D.C. area, you still can enjoy it. It's not quite the same, obviously, but there's still time and opportunity to be outside. Um, yeah, I just had a question for Dr. Josh. Um, I know some people that can be quite affected, like, their mental health, especially by not being able to see other people, and going out and doing things that you normally would do. So I was just wondering if there's any advice that you could give, um, to those people who are kind of struggling with their, like, mental health right now. Well, it's just-- I think-- I think that, uh, you always want to do the most you can just--to just listen, right? Because if you're talking to a friend, and they're telling you that they're really struggling with something, my general advice, for the most part, is to recognize that you're probably not gonna be able to solve their problem for them, right? And generally speaking, a lot of people don't even want you to try to solve their problem. They just want to vent. So they just want to talk about how bored, and how lonely they are, and how anxious and upset they are. And oftentimes the best thing you can do for that person is to just do what we call reflective listening. It's just a fancy term for listening to that person, really asking them questions, trying to understand as much as you can about their situation. And then sort of reflecting it back, and saying to them, "Hey, this is what I think I'm hearing you say." And you can maybe share if you feel somewhat the same away, but oftentimes that's gonna be the best way to make them feel like they've been heard and understood. I don't think-- certainly, I don't think it's the responsibility of you to try to solve your friend's problem. I think if you can identify with them and you sort of are feeling the same way, oftentimes people do feel better if they hear that they're not in the boat alone. Then you just say, "Yeah, I'm sort of having a tough time with that as well." But in general, making your focus be understanding and listening is gonna be your best bet. I think Cal has a question. Um, I do think that, like, since now that I'm spending more time with my siblings, it's getting really annoying. 'Cause, like, we're, like, pushing each other's nerves, that, like, we're gonna get mad at each other. 'Cause, like, we're spending too much time together, which normally does not happen. So, yeah, it's pretty weird. My main piece of advice-- I think you're not alone with that, a lot of people are getting annoyed by their siblings. I know there's plenty of fighting going on between my kids in this house. But one of the things you might be able to do is just try to have some structured activities. Maybe you guys can all sit around together and come up with some ideas or some things that you could do that would be, uh, enjoyable for all of you. Maybe picking up some, uh, board games, or some activity, or some craft activity, or something like that. Watching movies-- things where you can actually do stuff as a group where you're not gonna be at each other's throats, and you're just gonna be trying to do the same thing with each other at the same time. Or something that's mutually agreed upon, so everybody's having a good time. And then maybe saying to each other, "Hey, look, I love you, "but you're really being difficult. "It's really hard to hang out with you all day. "Do you mind just giving me an hour "so I can just go in my room and just listen to some music "or chill out. And just please don't bother me for the next hour." I think most people are gonna understand that. Well, I'd like to find out what everybody wants to do, or wishes they could do right now, that they miss the most. Let's just go through the, uh-- through the gallery. You want to tell us, Grayson, what you'd like to be doing? I would like to be playing football right now. Uh, I really miss, uh, skateboarding with, uh, my friend Timo, which we can't do anymore. But sometimes we, uh, FaceTime each other, and, uh, we teach each other how to do different tricks, and yeah. But I miss going to the skatepark with my friends. Oh, you're skating park. I heard that. You--you like to, um, rollerblade, right? No, skateboard.
(Harrison) Oh, skateboard, excuse me. So you--and there's a roller-- a skateboard park that you go to and you can't go there now? Yeah, I can't go there anymore. The one in, uh, Monaco, I can't go there. And the one here in [inaudible], uh, I can't go there either. I guess they're closed because of the quarantine, huh? You know, social distancing.
(Lucas) Yes.
(Harrison) Well did you--do you have someplace that you can do your, uh, skateboarding, uh, alone?
(Lucas) Yeah. We built-- or I built a skatepark in the driveway here. But it's not the same as with your friends, huh? No, it's not the same.
(Harrison) Taís? Yeah, I--I wanted to play football with my, uh, friends, but I can still play football but with my dad and not with my friends. Now, football for you is soccer, right?
(Taís) Yeah.
(Harrison) Soccer. And you're on a-- on a major team in yours-- in your, uh, area, right?
(Taís) Yeah. Riley, what would you like to be doing, and what will you be doing as soon as this is all over? Um, as soon as this is over, hopefully my daily routine goes back to normal. And I just really wish that, um, I can get my learner's permit for driving, because I recently just turned 15 1/2, and have finished my driving course. Um, but unfortunately the DMV is closed, so I'm waiting for it to ba--to ope back-- open again, um, so I can get that. Oliver? Um, I am--yeah, definite-- the first thing I'm excited about is, uh, getting to hang out with friends again. And, like, getting to see them in person and not on a phone or a-- Oh, Matías? Have you told us what you'd like to do? Yeah, um, I used--I played for, uh, my soccer team, but now I can't do it anymore, because we were 4-Ds so it's closed now. They can't play, so-- I think you make a good point, Barbara, and that is that uncertainty's really hard for a lot of people, right? In general, people do better when they have some clear direction, they know what to expect, and when they're in a routine. That doesn't apply to everybody, but I do think that that's the vast majority of people. They do better when they know those things. And so that's one thing that right now we just don't have available to us. So everybody's just trying to make do, doing the best they can, hopefully trying to maintain some sort of normalcy and routine. But these are strange times. They certainly are. There are so many things happening in the world today, that you want and need to talk about. Hi, I'm Charlotte. My name is Shria. I'm Isabella. Hi, I'm Niquiel
(Harrison) Ask a question, share an opinion, and hear those of others. Minorities are on the lower end of the spectrum. It's just hideous.
(Harrison) For more information, go to www.kidsspeakout.me. Now, do you have any questions for each other or for the doctor? Did anyone have to celebrate their birthdays during quarantine? It was a week ago today, so I had my friends all on FaceTime, saying "Happy birthday," but--
(Cal) Happy birthday!
(Charlotte) Thank you. Um, it was really hard not seeing anyone for my birthday. My best friend had his birthday, um, dur--during the quarantine, so I couldn't see him for his birthday. So I'm wondering, guys, if there's anything that has happened during this period of quarantine that you hope continues after the quarantine ends? Uhh... Yeah, I hope we can still, like-- we can still learn from home, like, online, because it's better. Because you don't need to go every day to school, and change every day into your school uniforms, if you need them. And so you don't need to go there and then come back home. It's funny that you-- It's funny that you say that, because my son, since this experience, has been saying, "Gee, Dad, I've been asking to do home-schooling, because this works out great." So I don't think you're-- you're certainly not alone. There are some other kids who share that opinion. Charlotte, what about you? Um, yeah, so there's been kind of-- in the UK it's like that I've noticed there's been a lot of, like-- especially that unity and, like, togetherness surrounding the whole, like, Coronavirus thing. So I hope that that kind of continues rather than the division that's-- Yeah, um, I think that for the people who have cars, it'll save them gas. And money. 'Cause they don't have to drive around. So, I mean, we're saving money. Well, that's a good point. So, like, driving your kids to school, or, like, driving yourself to school, you use up gas. And gas costs money. So, like, you wouldn't have to pay that, like, money. So, Cal, would you like to see that continue? And not have to go to school again, and--and just, uh, continue to save money on the gas? Yeah. And the energy that usually cars use are not renewable. So once it's finished, it's finished. Anybody else with something to say about what they'd like to see continue, uh, when this is all over? Since we've had a lot of pollution, um, I think this is-- like, I think it's a good time for, like, the Earth to heal. Like, to get better, um, without having all that pollution. So, like, driving your car, pollution. So, um, like, I think it helps.
(Harrison) There are so many things happening in the world today, that you want and need to talk about. -Hi, I'm Charlotte. -My name is Shria. -I'm Isabella. -Hi, I'm Niquiel
(Harrison) We invite students from around the world to speak up to ask questions and offer opinions on the topics of the day. It's just hideous.
(Harrison) For more information, go to www.kidsspeakout.me. You know, one thing I'd say is one of my-- you know, it's been a little bit of a pet peeve of mine over the years, especially with what I see in my practice, is everybody's just so busy with so many activities. Families are running around in general so often, that people are just ships passing in the night. And, you know, one parent's taking one kid to one sport activity, another's taking their kid to another activity-- And one thing that I do hope happens is that people sort of reevaluate their priorities. And maybe now that they've had some time to slow down, and been forced to sort of get back to the basics, that maybe some people are gonna decide, "You know what? Life's a little calmer, "and a little nicer when we're not running around all the time." Maybe we can decide that there are some things that we can just let go of. You know, I think that's a great idea, and I have to say that when I walk out in the streets of Washington D.C. and not have to see all that traffic, it makes me think, "Hey, you know, we--we could live with this a little bit longer. You know, Barbara, I'm curious-- You know, one thing that a lot of people talk about is that anxiety's on the rise, um, and that a lot of kids are experiencing anxiety during this period of time. And as I mentioned earlier, it just kind of doesn't necessarily match the experience that I've been seeing with my patients in my practice, as I've spoken with them. And I'm wondering with the kids-- with all of you guys-- maybe if you could just give a quick answer, maybe on a one to ten scale, if ten is the most anxious you could possibly imagine being, and one is the exact opposite, you feel pretty relaxed. What number would you give yourselves during this period of time? Anybody want to start? It looks like-- oh, I think Grayson. Grayson, what number would you be? I would say a seven. That's pretty high. That's pretty high. You're pretty nervous. Pretty anxious, huh? Yeah, because I don't have nothing to do. Like, I have to do stuff. But I've just been lazy. I don't like being lazy. Right. That's a good point. I mean, I think some people really do need to have some structure, right? Oh, absolutely. I think that for a lot of people, just, uh, downtime-- You know, they say, uh, idle--idle time makes-- is not good for the brain, right? A lot of times when people are just sitting around, their brain just sort of naturally goes to some anxieties and worries. So a lot of times people feel better the busier they are. Lucas and Taís. Uh, me, one out of ten, because I'm not really stressed about it. I'm just-- Because we're in our home, our weekend home, and we're--we're having fun. I would give it, uh, maybe a four, because sometimes I'm a bit stressed, uh, with the school work, but otherwise-- other than that, um, I don't think there's anything that's stressing me out so much. I don't think. Anybody else want to weigh in on the stress level?
(Describer) Olivia.
I'd say, like, a seven. Six? But, like, I'm usually a ten, so--
[laughter]
So this is an improvement from where you normally would be? Yes. And, uh, Charlotte, did you have, uh, a number that you'd like to, uh, claim? I think probably, like, a three or a four, I'd say. 'Cause, obviously, this is the time my teacher would be doing revision for exams and things. So to not have those exams, kind of like the end of the holidays is a bit--I feel like I should be doing something, but obviously I don't have to, so-- Well, it's a nice, comfortable time, right? I mean, you're able to enjoy not having to be stressed out about, uh, school work. Anybody else? Okay, Riley. Um, I'd say socially I'm at, like, a one, because, just, nothing's really going on to, like, be social, like, anxious about. Um, but I'd say for school work, I'd probably--I'm probably a seven, because just communicating with teachers over email and, like, over Zoom classes, it's just--it's really stressful for me, just 'cause I-- I don't know. I just like to be in person. And for me, it's, like, I need that--that contact to know that I have, like, their full attention, and just all of that. Good point. Matías, I think you're ready to say something else, and then we'll get to you, Cal, in just a second. Matías? Um I give myself a two, because only the homework is a little bit stressful. For the rest, um, I'm pretty calm. And Cal? What about you? I'm not only stressed, but I'm pretty sad, since I'm moving schools, and I won't get to see my friends for, like, two months. So it's really sad. Sadness, I guess, Doctor, is something that we have to all deal with. There is some sad element, but, uh, as I said, as I look outside and I see how beautiful it is, and I don't hear a lot of traffic, that makes me happy.
(Weiner) Yeah, I mean, there's definitely some nice aspects to this. But I don't want to make it seem, obviously, like it's just rosy in any way, because, you know, obviously with all of the-- all of us who are participating in today's discussion, it doesn't sound like there's anyone who's dealing with any major health issues in their family. Uh, nobody's mentioned one of their parents losing their jobs or not being able to afford some of the basic necessities that they have. So obviously there are definitely people out there who are really, really struggling right now. So I don't, by any means, want to minimize the challenges that families are facing. But I do think there are many families where, you know, there are some nice things that are occurring with this as well. So I think we shouldn't focus entirely on the negative, we shouldn't just focus entirely on the positive. Finding--you know, there's a mix, right? With everything. Good and bad with everything. And I think one of the most wonderful things about this--if we can say there's anything wonderful about going through this experience-- is that we are finding that around the world we are so much more alike than we realized. I mean, I think we're all seeing that, uh, "Hey, I'm hearing him say that he's feeling the same thing I'm feeling." There's something good, there's something bad. We--we really have a lot in common no matter what language we speak. And aren't we, like, glad that so many of them speak English? I wish I could speak French or Italian, or--or Portuguese, uh, so that I could speak with you in your native tongues, but, uh-- wow, everybody really speaks English so well, don't they, Doctor? Yeah, absolutely. But you know what, Barbara? One of the things I've been recommending to some of my patients who are bored, is I say, "Hey, why don't you learn a language?" Now's the perfect time to sort of practice brushing up on your Spanish, or French, or something like that, that maybe you haven't taken since you were a young kid. That's a great idea. Well, I--does anybody have anything else they want to say? Any thoughts you'd like to leave us with? One more thing, let's sing "Happy Birthday" to Charlotte, since she-- Wait, Grayson, was it your birthday too? Oh, did--was it Grayson's birthday? Yeah.
(Harrison) When was your birthday? My birthday was March 28th. Oh, wow, well we--we have a couple birthdays that we have to acknowledge then. And so neither of you had a party beyond, I guess, your families at home? Me too, it was my birthday the 26th of March, so we couldn't do it. Wow, well, Dr. Weiner, shall we sing? Okay, you want to lead? Your voice is probably better than mine.
[all singing "Happy Birthday"]
So happy birthday to everyone who might be celebrating out there. We're glad you're with us, and hope you'll plan to join us again for our next edition of "Kids Speak Out." Don't forget, you can find out how you can participate in a lot of different ways with our program. Go to kidsspeakout.me. We'll see you soon.
(Describer) Titles: Barbara Harrison Media. Kids speak out. Accessibility provided by the US Department of Education.
[dramatic music]
Accessibility provided by the U.S. Department of Education.
Now Playing As: English with English captions (change)
Host Barbara Harrison continues conversations with kids of all ages about their fears, anxieties, and boredom while under quarantine. Child psychiatrist Dr. Joshua Weiner offers helpful advice. Part of the "Kids Speak Out" series.
Media Details
Runtime: 22 minutes 16 seconds
- Topic: Counseling and Self-Help, Education, Health and Safety, Home and Family
- Subtopic: Family Life, General Education, Mental Health
- Grade/Interest Level: 6 - 12
- Standards:
- Release Year: 2020
- Producer/Distributor: Barbara Harrison Media
- Series: Kids Speak Out
- Writer: Daniel Strauss
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